Saturday, August 3, 2019

GLOG Curse: "Wizzard Bidness"

This isn't "Wizard Business". This is "Wizzard Bidness". It's the difference between a scientist and a science enthusiast. Everything is going to go wrong, and it'll be your fault, but man, look at all these results! For further reading, see here.

This is a Curse class for the current GLOGosphere challenge. The first template is accrued through critically failing a Save vs. Fear upon seeing someone else be killed in a horrible accident while visiting the Haunted Alchemabulary. Rather than taking the sensible option of running and screaming, you feel an overwhelming curiosity. Maybe that only happens sometimes. Maybe it happens all the time. Either way, it's time for more TESTS.

Other, truly wonderful and/or bizarre GLOG Curse classes:
Princesses and Pioneers - Curse of the Mirror Struck
A Blasted, Cratered Land - Curse of the Hero
Archon's Court - Nanoweapon Poisoning
Same is Shark in Japanese - Curse of Ska
Slugs and Silver - Curse of the Ogre
Anxious Mimic - Curse of Oath-Rot
Benign Brown Beast - Curse of the Restless Dreamer
Parasites and Paradoxes - Curse of the Doppelganger
Bugbear Slug - Curse of the Abattoir God
Words for Yellow - Several curses in one!

This can only go well. Credit Jan Weßbecher


Tuesday, July 2, 2019

The Fool's Tower - Infinite Dungeon Exploration

Like this, but a little taller. Credit Maksym Harahulin

When you see it come over the horizon, you can't help but rub yours eyes. It looks a little like having an eyelash slowly drop down into your eye, but no matter what you do, it doesn't go away. It stretches up to the clouds and beyond, a flaw in the sky, an error in reality, an impossible structure that should collapse like a castle made of cards stacked end-to-end.

But it endures. Cannon has been brought to bear against it, once. Just once.

The nobles hate it. Peasants will drop tools and wander over from a town across, and flood in through whichever snarling visage the gate presents itself as that day. A couple come out bearing obscure trinkets or bizarre pieces of furniture. Some come out scarred and torn, missing limbs, missing memories. Most don't come out at all.

The rules:
  • Each room contains a small golden key and a wooden door.
  • Touching the key to the door causes both to be destroyed, and the stairs upwards revealed.
  • Both key and door are immune to all spells, and breaking the door reveals only solid rock.
  • Each room will have a number of "elements", preventing easy access to either the key, the door, or other important items. These aren't puzzles, just irritating obstacles, usually dangerous, potentially lethal.
  • The number of elements in each room starts at two, and increases every 1d6 floors.
  • The key will usually be visible, but not always. There will usually be enough light to see by, but not always.
  • Enemies cannot move more than one room away from their starting location, unless they have your express permission.
  • The tower and everything in it resets each visit.
  • A few items are specifically "loot" items, you will be told if this is the case.
  • Everything else is "furniture", and will crumble to ash when removed from the tower, excepting one single chosen item.
  • "Furniture" especially includes trap components, enemies, recruited allies, corpses and chunks of wall.
  • Speaking your true name has palpable force equivalent to the highest floor you have reached.




Friday, June 28, 2019

"What can change the nature of a man? Is it drugs? It's drugs" - Narcomancer and Beeromancer Wizard Schools

I've had both of these wizard schools sitting in my generator for months now, without a problem. Now I have had two Narcomancers and a Beeromancer show up, and it is a nightmare.

So I'm inflicting it upon you, gentle reader. Hubris!




First time is free. Then you pay. Credit Lester Camacho


Perk: All drugs you prepare take effect instantly, and you can take them as a free action.

Drawback: Disadvantage on checks involving courtesy, partying or appearance.

Starting equipment: Three caches of drugs, three doses each.

Here are some excellent lists of drugs, many of them showing up summarised in the list below.
  1. Alterket (+damage resistance, -dodge, immune to pain and can't feel HP)
  2. Notcoke (+attack, +initiative, save vs. impulse decisions)
  3. Otherpot (immune to illusions and spell-interuption, save vs. screwups when you try anything new)
  4. Unmandy (+ranged attacks, read emotions through facial expressions, very chatty and no filter, save vs. distractions)
  5. Oblian (+damage, +HP, -awareness, save vs. naps)
  6. Tooka (predict all opponent actions, 1-in-6 it's just too confusing and makes you feel sick)
  7. Tuss (+Int, +Wis, +spell research, -Dex)
  8. Talkleaf (+initiative, +save vs. fear, -carrying capacity, makes you nervous if you can't smoke)
  9. Crate (+Con, +endurance, -focus, difficulty judging time)
  10. Terrorleaf (+Str, +rage, +save vs. charm, paranoia and psychotic breaks)
  11. Coffee (+Wis, +Dex, each dose makes up for 2 hours lost sleep, +crit fail range)
  12. Drill (+save, body load fills inventory slots, [dose]% chance of hallucinating vermin)
  13. Silvercaps (immune to nausea and sickness, -fall damage, body load fills inventory slots)
  14. Pixie Dust (+float off the ground, +Cha, -Wis, save vs. sparkles)
  15. Wizard Teeth* (+1 MD for the day, -save)
  16. Fizzbop* (+2 MD for the next spell, +1 Instability Die, -save)
  17. Talakeshi Jelly (+initiative, +Str, doubled food requirements, all breakdowns/insanities are psychosis)
  18. Mevverwen** (+euphoria, forget the last N rounds, removes mental effects in that time, -Wis)
  19. Angelshit (+Wis, +inventory but lose items if not drugged up, save vs. horror at the sight of corners)
  20. Brood*** (+max HP, feel bugs everywhere, save vs. eating coal/dirt/tar/sulphur)
*Each Tolerance point decreases your MD-keep-range by 1. So, starting at keep 1-3, lose 4-6, the first point of Tolerance changes this to keep 1-2, lose 3-6. If your keep range drops below 1, you lose a point of max MD and start again at keep 1-3.
**Each point of Tolerance will eat the first floating X you gain that day
***A random body part grows insect legs per Tolerance in addition to -1 max HP. Pray that it isn't important/internal, as it might try and escape

Usage rules (very slightly edited from here):
  • Each drug has several effects listed, upsides, downsides and side-effects. 
  • When you take N doses of a drug, you take:
    • +N to any of the upsides
    • -N to the downsides
    • And make saves or suffer a side-effect 
  • At the end of a day when you took drugs, make a CON check with...
    • Add your Wisdom modifier
    • Add your Tolerance
      • If you fail, gain a point of Tolerance

Tolerance
  • Represents the drug becoming less effective for you
  • If there are any upsides, each point of Tolerance gives you a negative to that stat
    • If upsides are non-numerical, figure out the opposite of it, or apply a penalty to the relevant trait
    • If the drug has an * after it, then the Tolerance penalty is different
  • For instance, a point of Tolerance to Notcoke will give you -1 Attack and -1 Initiative. Luckily, you can just take a hit to cancel it out! Lucky, lucky you...

Recovery and Withdrawal
  • If you go a week without taking you have Tolerance for, make the same CON check, but subtract your Tolerance instead of adding it
    • If you succeed, lose a point of Tolerance
    • If you fail, the effects of the Tolerance are at x2 until you take a hit
      • If you fail again next week, the effects are at x3 etc.

Spells:
  1. Confusion
  2. Animate Powder
  3. Inflict Withdrawal
  4. Phantom Limb
  5. Circle of Mushrooms
  6. Sleep
  7. Profitable Curse
  8. Haste
  9. Teleport Substance
  10. Cone of Numbness
  11. Brain Swap
  12. Extract Essence

Confusion
R: 30ft T: creature D: [sum] rounds
For the duration, the target cannot differentiate between friend or foe, different directions, or specific items, so long as they are even slightly similar

Animate Powder
R: touch T: drug D: [sum] minutes
Turns the drug into a tiny critter (1 HP, 0 Def), changing form depending on the drug. Can apply themselves to a willing target, but an unwilling target can swat it away with an attack roll. Stimulants have +[dice] Defence, relaxants have +[dice] HP, hallucinogens can change appearance randomly and do so each round.

Inflict Withdrawal
R: eye-line T: creature D: [sum] rounds
This spell requires taking a hit of a drug while staring at the target. The drug takes effect as normal, but for the duration of the spell, the target must endure the effects of [dose]x[dice] Tolerance. If you have no personal Tolerance to the drug being used, Save ends.

Phantom Limb
R: 50ft T: limb D: [sum] rounds
For the duration, you control the actions of that limb each round. Target can make a Strength-[dice] check as an action to try and prevent it. In addition, you take half of any damage inflicted specifically on that limb.

Circle of Mushrooms
R: 10ft T: floor beneath caster D: instant
Roll 1d8+[dice] on the following table. Roll at -2 if the floor is solid rock or something equally inhospitable, +1 if the floor is coated in manure of a particular quality:

2. or less: green slime. Oh dear...
3. Stinking fungus, causes severe gastric distress if eaten, or even smelt too much
4. Wriggleweed, will try and eat your shoes
5. Edible, if disgusting, 1d4-1 rations
6. Mushmice, highly mobile, useful distractions
7. Potent hallucinogens, save vs. bad trip
8. Edible, 1d4+[dice] rations
9. Tasty, exquisitely poisonous, save or die if eaten
10. Truffles! Will go off remarkably quickly, but valuable while fresh
11. Purgatives, useful for rebalancing the humours and clearing out whatever other poisonous mushrooms you've eaten...
12. or more: Own choice!

Profitable Curse
R: 30ft T: creature D: [dice] hours
If the target creatures dies before this spell elapses, and they are under the effects of a particular drug, their corpse contains [dose]x[dice] additional doses of the drug. Extracting these doses is likely to be gross, messy, risky and result in inferior product.

Teleport Substance
R: [dice]x10ft T: creature D: [sum] rounds
Up to [dice] doses of a substance are swapped with an equal quantity of water within the target. If they succeed on the save, then the next nearest target must make a save. This continues until the water is successfully swapped.

Cone of Numbness

R: 15ft cone T: creatures D: [sum] rounds
All targets have -4 on the first roll they make each round.

Emblem Spells

Brain Swap
R: touch T: creature and self, or two creatures D: instant
If an unwilling target has more than [dice] HD, they can make a Save to negate. If both targets are unwilling, the higher HD/Save is used. If the spell is successful, then all the memories, spells, and abilities are transferred between the two. If either body had Tolerance to a drug, then half of it is left behind, as are any Withdrawal symptoms. This is a heretofore unknown spell to society, but will be condemned as Necromancy is if discovered.

Extract Essence
R: touch T: creature ability D: [sum] hours
Unwilling targets can Save to negate, unless the caster has ten minutes of contact to cast the spell. Once complete, the ability is compressed into an elixir, philtre, powder or potion, and can be consumed. The ability will return when the spell expires, and some exceptionally strong abilities will lose an hour of duration per active use.

Malignancies

Mishaps:
  1. Gain 1 trauma
  2. Take 1d6 damage
  3. Mutation for 1d6 turns, save or permanent
  4. Spell hits a random additional target
  5. Unable to discern friend or foe for 1d6 rounds
  6. Gain a point of tolerance

Dooms:
  1. All (all) bodily fluids are replaced with mild opiates. -1d4 Constitution, permanently
  2. One of your limbs permanently turns into a lump of highly addictive substance, heretofore undiscovered. It's mostly immovable and completely useless.
  3. The rest of your body follows suit, 3-in-6 to remain conscious, but you are effectively a corpse

This Doom could be prevented by taking the Angelic Ultimate Detox. Which obliterates every internal organ. Usually. It is also only ever given to good people. Taking drugs is a sin.





PARTAAYY. Credit André Meister


Perk: If you gain five drunkenness in one day, gain +1 MD. Anyone assisting you in casting a spell can "contribute" their drunkenness to it, usually by saying "I love you man" or throwing up while leaning on you.

Drawback: Can't cast spells if completely sober.

Starting equipment: Three potent drinks, each worth three drunkenness.

(Alcohol is simple - each point of Drunkenness increases critical fail range by 1)


Spells:
  1. Enchant Improvised Weapon
  2. Cure Wounds*
  3. Water to Wine
  4. Wine to Vodka
  5. Explode Alcohol
  6. Aura of Intoxication
  7. Wizard Vision
  8. Detect Party
  9. Purge Body
  10. Shape Alcohol
  11. Eldritch Hangover
  12. Summon Party

Enchant Improvised Weapon
R: touch T: non-weapon object D: one fight
The next attack you make with target object deals +[sum] damage, at +[dice] to-hit, breaks the object and ends the spell.

Water to Wine
R: touch T: body of water D: permanent
Turns [sum] litres of water into low-grade hooch. Alternatively, deals [sum]/2 poison damage to touched creature, save for half, as well as [dice] drunkenness.

Wine to Vodka
R: touch T: wine or other alcoholic beverage D: permanent
Condenses up to [sum] litres of wine, or whatever you have on hand, into a collection of drinks that is [dice]x2 times stronger and lower in volume, producing a cloud of steam. This also traps many magical impurities in the process, save vs. Mishap if you cast any Beeromancy spells on or with drinks produced by this spell.

Explode Alcohol (based on Explode Corpse)
R: 50ft T: booze D: instant
Target container or puddle explodes, dealing damage in a [dice]x5' radius, Save vs Dexterity for half. The maximum damage dealt is dependent on the potency:
Swill: 1
Beer/Wine: 1d6
Spirits, liquors: 2d6
Rare and weird: 3d6
Ancient, eldritch and/or one-of-a-kind: 6d6

Aura of Intoxication
R: 20ft radius T: self D: [sum] minutes
Everyone in the Aura has [dice]x2 additional Drunkenness.

Detect Party
R: [sum] miles T: party D: instant
You know the direction and approximate route to the nearest gathering of two or more people where the majority are having a good time. You can add [dice] additional conditions, like "needs a drink" or "nobody hungers for human flesh".

Purge Body
R: touch T: creature D: [dice] rounds
Target must save vs. horrendous bodily disfunction (i.e. stun) each round. It's messy as hell, but they can make a new save against any ingested poisons, beverages or drugs each round. If you are mad, you might be able to recover some of whatever they... relieve themselves of.

Shape Alcohol
R: 100ft T: drunk creatures D: instant
Deals [sum] damage to any creature within 20ft of a given point that is drunk. In addition, as Shape Water, only applying to alcohol of course.



Emblem Spells

Eldritch Hangover
R: touch T: one creature D: until dispelled
As Bestow Curse, with zero of the normal backlash on you. However, any hangover cure has a 50% chance of dispelling the curse, with only a single chance at working. Save+4 negates, at a [sum] penalty. If they target saves, they suffer a crippling headache and a tongue tasting like cat vomit for [sum] rounds instead, to no other effect.

Summon Party
R: 0 T: self D: [sum] hours
Brings [sum] people to a given location, with the specific and general purpose of having a good time and getting to know each other. While this spell does seem to be merely the result of popularity and coincidence, it is an actual magical effect. When cast, pick [dice] of the following, and roll one at random:
  1. They arrive in minutes, if not seconds.
  2. Everyone brings enough food and booze for everyone else.
  3. They come armed and potentially armoured.
  4. They arrive on entirely unsuitable means of transport, potentially the infamous flying Booze Boat of Captain Joe of the 77nd [sic] Beer Battalion, the original Beeromancer.
  5. You can specifically invite [dice] people by name, they'll be there no matter what, so long as they are within [sum] miles. Don't invite dead people, it's just not worth it.
  6. Their raucous cacophony is guaranteed to bring the local authorities within 2d6 rounds, wherever you are.
  7. Local humanoids will wander in and, after having a great time, think the party members are awesome.
  8. BYOP - Bring Your Own Potions!
  9. The Party is a pool party, and you weren't informed. Luckily, they brought their own water.
  10. The Party sends a representative of the Central Committee to give you your next set of nonsensical orders
  11. Half the party is partly imaginary, and will forget anything negative that they experience during the party.
  12. A surprise guest will join the party halfway through! They will be famous, supernatural or just incredibly fun, potentially all three.


Malignancies

Mishaps:
  1. Gain 1 trauma
  2. Take 1d6 damage
  3. Mutation for 1d6 turns, save or permanent
  4. Random stat is halved until you sober up
  5. Random limb becomes hostile to you, 2d6 rounds
  6. Forced purge, lose all drunkenness… messily

Dooms:
  1. The next time you carouse, you and everyone that carouses with you wakes up in a completely new location, with half of your inventory replaced with random items, and no memory of how you got there.
  2. Your liver packs up shop and leaves. Roll to determine which way it exits. One hour after taking any drink, you take 1d6 poison damage. Your Save vs. Poison drops to 1.
  3. Terrible but completely ordinary accident once per day if you are drunk, save vs. death unless you stay completely sober.
Avoiding the Doom, apart from not drinking, is incredibly difficult. Having your biology completely replaced is a start, but fundamentally, if you aren't being poisoned by booze, the magic doesn't flow. Perhaps try combining the weirdness of the Archaeans with the susceptibility of the Myconids.




Monday, June 17, 2019

Grimoire Generator - NO REFUNDS

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

"Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds" - Quick OSR Afterlives


"Next". Credit Harshanand Singh

Here's what happens when you die. Firstly, you are judged by a Court of Death (i.e. all the other players):
  • For every notable sin, -1. Sins you have confessed and been absolved of don’t count.
  • For every intentional mutation, -1
  • If you weren’t buried, -1
  • If your soul is damaged in any way, -2
  • If your soul is missing or seriously damaged, another -2
  • If you soul belongs to someone else, -5
  • For every notable good deed, +1
  • If you had a proper funeral, +1
  • If you’ve paid your tithe recently, +2
  • If you’re in really good standing with the church, another +2
  • If you died for a truly noble cause, +5

If you want, you can delay the accounting of your death by up to a day. This might help if your body is in the process of being recovered, or a funeral is being organised. A "burial" can be any appropriate rite, whether internment underground or having your ashes scattered (just not eaten, melted or left to rot somewhere). A funeral requires all present to say a few words, at the very least. If you didn't get a proper burial, then a funeral also requires either a memorial built or a priest paid to officiate.

Then, roll 1d20+[total] to find out your fate:
  1. or less: Even Hell Doesn’t Want You. Fall for eternity in the endless void beyond space and time.
  2. Devil Prince Gestalt. You make up part of his left pinky toenail.
  3. Naked, Burning and Stabbed. Go to Hell, and you’re in the Seven Circles.
  4. Poisonous Soul. Go to Hell. If you didn’t get a funeral, wherever your body ended up becomes steadily more evil and corrupted.
  5. Bog-Standard Sinner. Go to Hell, mostly ignored.
  6. Eaten by a Demon. Delicious!
  7. Summoned Back. End up in some necromancer’s wacky scheme.
  8. Rest In Peace. If you aren’t buried and are mostly intact, rise as a zombie.
  9. Bureaucratic Mixup. Spend a hundred years in purgatory before getting it “sorted out”.
  10. Not Quite Gone. Forced to haunt either the place you died, or the party.
  11. Edge of Heaven. Spend a hundred years as a penitent angel, bound wings and leaden sandals for you!
  12. Scraped In. Go to Heaven… eventually, you’ll be waiting in line for a hundred years at least.
  13. Eternal Rest. If you got a funeral, go to Heaven.
  14. Needed Again. Your tattered soul is used to fuel a ‘Cure Wounds’ spell (if you want, roll a hit-location table to find out where)
  15. One With Everything. Become part of the trees and flowers and sky and bears.
  16. Revenant. Do you have any unfinished business? If so, you can return at full HP. You can no longer gain XP or heal, and gradually flake away into gold sparkles. Else or afterwards, go to Heaven.
  17. Part of the Choir. Go to Heaven. All bodily features smoothed out, you'll be standing behind a golden throne for eternity.
  18. Eternal Life of Luxury. Go to Heaven. It’s pretty boring, to be honest.
  19. First in Line for Reincarnation. Whether you like it or not.
  20. or more: Handpicked Angel. You’ll be on the front lines when the next holy war breaks out. Until then, the party can call upon you once, ever. You’re too busy beyond that.

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Wampus Weirdo Generation

Sourced from: Wampus Country - I Miss Gleep Wurp

First name:
Last name:
Nickname:
Occupation:
Origin:

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Solar System Generator v1.0

In short, an automated version of this amazing resource. Utterly stellar research has gone into making the Astrometrics Guide to Exoplanets, and I hope I've done it justice in automating it here. Enjoy!


Tuesday, April 9, 2019

THE ROD OF SEVENTY SEVEN PARTS

A few abilities inspired by/stolen from Skerples article about artefacts

X = number of segments combined
Flipping a segment like a coin will always have it land on it’s edge, and roll towards the nearest segment you don’t own.

If you're not sure where the segments might be, roll 1d100 each time you arrive at a new area:

  1. For sale from a tinker, for favours bizarre
  2. With a warlord that knows not what he has
  3. Trapped in a lab with a brain in a jar
  4. At the bottom of a well
  5. Buried in the ruins of a collapsed church
  6. Functioning as part of a town lightning rod
  7. Floating on a solid cloud
  8. In the middle of a field, surrounded by dead cows and burnt grass
  9. In the nest of an immense crow
  10. The wedding ring of an eccentric princess
  11. or more: not here! Keep looking


The Rod of Seventy Seven Parts is highly unstable, and does not go together easily. When joining together segments, the Rod has an X-7 in 20 chance of backfiring:
1dX segments teleport away and…

  1. The rod explodes for Xd6 damage, 20ft radius
  2. You are polymorphed into a random animal
  3. Killed stone dead, no save, with an idiot expression on your face
  4. Surrounding area is teleported in a random direction
  5. 1d20 lightning bolts hit randomly all around
  6. An apocalypse happens, just a local one


Adding the eighth segment has a 1-in-20 chance of going kapow, the ninth 2-in-20 etc. Joining together parts using mechanical/magical assistance may deflect or reduce the effects.

Abilities that recharge daily will do so at the first ray of dawn. Abilities that recharge weekly will do so on the dawn of the Sabbath. Cunning users will wrangle this to their advantage.

  1. Wind-up as an action, next hit deals 1d20 damage on a hit, staggers you on a miss
  2. Unique ranged attacks, deals 1d8 on a hit. Range increases with segments collected
  3. As shield, blocks 1d12 damage X times before consequences
  4. Transforms into any weapon
  5. Absorbs spells from wands/scrolls/magic items etc. can hold X
  6. If you don’t attack in a round, +X to Defence
  7. Deals exploding damage on a max roll
  8. X additional attacks per day, 1d6 self-damage per two extras
  9. +X to-hit, +X damage
  10. Polymorphs the rod into a seven-legged spider with X HD. Has a X% chance of going rogue, if it thinks it can best you in a fight. If the spider dies, the rod falls apart  and scatters segments everywhere.
  11. Perfectly block an attack, 1/day
  12. Perfectly hit an attack, 1/day
  13. Scan enemy HP, 1/combat
  14. Reroll failed saves while at full HP and/or wearing exceptionally fine clothes
  15. Change the dimensions of the rod by x7 in any direction
  16. Emits light as a torch for X hours per day
  17. +2X inventory slots
  18. Escape a dungeon with your party, up to X floors beneath the surface
  19. Can recreate the image and sound of a 10 minute scene in the last X days
  20. Vibrates gently whenever you are about to do something likely lethal
  21. Telepathy by making eye-contact, unusual usage up to X/day (just talking is fine, yelling, imitating other voices, is “unusual”)
  22. Translates between any languages, 10-X % chance of a mix-up per conversation
  23. Ask Advice, X/week
  24. Scout room, X/day
  25. Copies an ability you have been struck by, use it X/day
  26. Increase max HP by 2X
  27. Immune to critical hits
  28. Immune to level drain and death effects
  29. Take half damage from [1. Fire, 2. Poison, 3. Spells, 4. Traps, 5. Bladed weapons 6. Falling]
  30. Block the first X MD from spells per day
  31. Multiply damage by 1+1dX on a critical hit
  32. Critical range increases by X/2
  33. Reroll a d20, X/day
  34. Automatically succeed a d20 roll, X/week
  35. Produce an exceedingly useful item, X/week
  36. Produce a basic supply item, X/day
  37. Levitate up and down, slowly
  38. Walk on water
  39. Produces X hours of breathable air per day
  40. Blink, deals 1d6 damage every additional time used
  41. Teleport, 1/day
  42. Animate Object, X/day
  43. Invisibility, X rounds of combat per day, or X minutes non-combat
  44. Recharge any daily ability 1/day
  45. Add 1 MD to a spell, X/week
  46. Sleep, targets X HD of enemies, 1/day
  47. Fly, X passengers, 1/day
  48. Reattach a lost limb, 1/day
  49. Heal Xd4 HP per day
  50. Fireball, Xd6 damage, 1/day
  51. Transmute Flesh to Stone and Back, X/day
  52. Transmute [Weird] to [Weird], X/day
  53. Silent Illusion X/day
  54. Control [1. Fire 2. Water 3. Earth 4. Air] X/day
  55. Ask a yes/no question about something you tap, X/day
  56. Detect Invisible
  57. Detect Poison
  58. Locate Object, within X miles
  59. Detect Magic, X/day
  60. Speak with Dead, X/day
  61. Speak with [1. Fire 2. Water 3. Earth 4. Air] X/day
  62. Speak with [1. Locks, 2. Shoes, 3. Arrows, 4. Blood, 5. Roads, 6. Statue, 7. Teeth, 8. Self, 9. Spell, 10. God, 11. Stars, 12. Universe, 13. Light, 14. Darkness, 15. Memories, 16. Dreams, 17. Lust, 18. Lies, 19. Dave, 20. Mother], X/day
  63. Command Magnetism
  64. Determine Weather
  65. Astral Travel, X dreams
  66. Neutralise Hunger, X people supported
  67. +2 to a random stat, +4 with 7 or more segments
  68. Change a random stat to 18, another is halved
  69. Deal 1d6 damage to target in sight, X/day
  70. Time-stop, X rounds/week
  71. Cast a random spell, X/day
  72. Telekinesis, up to X kg at a time
  73. Pass through X feet of solid material per day
  74. Undo previous round, 1/week
  75. Wish, 1/century
  76. True Resurrection, 1/century
  77. Extends lifespan by X times


Monday, April 8, 2019

A brief exchange

Spoilers. Credit Ian Jacobson

Me:
The west area has a couple nooks off the main room. In one is a large wooden chest. In the other, is a circle of chalk drawn in strange runes around a pedestal. Leaning against the pedestal is a weird wavy dagger, while there is a large, plain looking sword lying atop it.

Erziver the Gnome:
I want to step carefully towards the chest and inspect the latch

Me:
Looks fine to you, no signs of weird magic or trickery.

Erziver:
I tap the latch with the butt of my axe

Me:
Clink
Nothing. The latch is definitely free of traps

Bertrude, Nearly-Paladin:
I look at the rest of the chest for traps

Erziver:
"Wise choice, Bertrude"

Bertrude:
I know the mind games

Erziver:
I'll sit in my saddle, hand on the latch, anxious to flip the fucker open

Me:
No traps
Do you open it Erziver?

Erziver:
I do!
OPEN OPEN OPEN

Me:
Inside the box is... another chest!

Erziver:
Damnit! Does it have any obvious traps?

Me:
No obvious traps, no wires or runes or anything like that

Erziver:
I'll flip the lid up with my axe handle

Me:
The smaller chest lunges out of the bigger box and tries to bite your face off!
Roll defence, at +1 since you had the axe in the way

Erziver:
Failed!

Me:
Ka-chomp, goes the chest on your arm, for... 8 damage.
Maybe that's your face, not your arm

Bertrude:
Fuck

Erziver:
Haha! I'm at exactly 0 HP!

Bertrude:
Bertrude immediately grabs the chest and tries to pull it off

Erziver:
Fate smiles faintly on me

Me:
Make a Strength check Bertrude!

Bertrude:
"Wee friend!"

Me:
(I hope that wasn't too much of a 'gotcha', but you were looking for "obvious traps" :shrug: )

Bertrude:
Success
I never thought of a mimic in a chest

Erziver:
I even considered sinking my axe into the top in anger
Oh yeah thats a clever ass mimic

Bertrude:
Unless its an enchanted chest
In which case im good at dissasembling constructs

Uwela the Kobold:
Little mimic would be cuter though.

Erziver:
So its off of me, right?

Me:
It's off, wriggling in Bertrude's hands. Which it will shortly try and eat. You can see Ezriver's blood on it's fangs, but it doesn't seem to have hit anything too important.

Erziver:
I want to sink my axe into the top of the thing!

Me:
Uwela it is adorable
Make an attack! Don't fail by a lot, or you'll hit Bert!

Erziver:
"Damn fucking trickery! DIE!"
Failed by 5?
Oh no

Me:
Oh no
Is that a lot?
Hmm
Erziver, you clip Bertrude with your axe
"Clip", for 4 damage

Bertrude:
Dammit, you did more damage to me than the dungeon did
I twist away and drop the thing, hissing in pain
Then I stomp on it
Dead space stylez

Bertrude:
I have a greataxe
"If you'd waited!"
Stomp
"I would've!"
Stomp
"Killed it!"
STOMP.

Erziver:
"Damnit damnit damnit!" I RAGE! "YOUR BLOOD WASNT WHAT I WANTEDD"

Uwela, quietly, in the background:
"Well this is getting out of hand..."

Me:
You all spend some time therapeutically stomping the absolute shit out of this tiny little mimic. it's guts, such as they are, are dribbling through the flagstones, and it's fangs shatter like glass.

Uwela:
I'll pass on stomping. Poor mimic.

Me:
I'm typing this whole exchange up
It's my favourite

Thursday, April 4, 2019

"There are more things in Heav- OH GOD IT'S BACK KILL IT KILL IT" - Nightmare Parasite for GLOG

Long, long ago, I was interested in this. I then discovered GLOG, and all of that melted away. But some of it stuck around. This is a love-letter to a 3.5e rebalancing homebrew, written for an OSR DIY sub-system:
For those who do walk his path, who embrace Terror as a means of strength, they may master the primordial arts of that Titan which should not have lived. To them, “Unafraid” is a mistranslation of “Ignorant”.
These inborn instincts can be traced back to The Nightmare himself, who rots and decays in that destitute pit, letting his existence blossom out unto the great wheel, spreading his legend, watching even in death, silently pushing those of his ascendents closer to his dream of perfect life. 
~ Xefas

It's so... purple. I dig it. This hobby rules.

Micah from Nuclear Haruspex designed this challenge to create parasite-related content for GLOG. There are many others like it, but this one is mine:

Biocon
Body King
Cuckoo Folk
Eater of Tongues
Hydrargent
Klyntar
Mother of Osk
Mycorrhizan
PARASITE
Parasite Brain
Spellbug
Temporal Paradox
Umbrant

Most other contributions are about people that have parasites, or playing a parasite that infects someone. You are a parasite, a scar, a blot on reality itself. And you're hungry.

This is you now. Credit Piotr Foksowicz

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

"I ought to be thy Adam" - Golemist (Wizard School)

This was a request/challenge by Micah from Nuclear Haruspex. I was all for collaborative work, but my honour was impugned, and thus, a friendly challenge was born! You can find his version here.

Optionally: there are two competing schools of Golemistry engaged in a cold war amongst the hallowed halls of the Foreign Parts. Golemists are uniquely placed in their ability to compete without risking anything other than the material components of their war machines. Consider:

  • Minute golem saboteurs
  • Gigantic mechs stomping about
  • Contracting them as mercenary forces will inevitably result in your opposition receiving a bid as well

These golems are completely different from elven drones. Probably. Maybe. Who's to say?


Credit Henrik Rosenborg

Monday, March 25, 2019

"Wanderer" v1.7