- Rope
- Tinderbox
- Crowbar
- Caltrops
- Bandages
- Bag of lard
- Bottle of liquor
- Copper wire
- Hand-drill
- Fishing rod
- Bladder of oil and a match
- Fake gold coins
- Grapple hook
- Iron spikes, 3
- Padlock and key, 3 sets
- Bucket of pitch
- Wooden pole
- Sack of flour
- Hammer and nails
- Chain, 10ft
- Lantern and oil
- Sack of rations, 9
- Bear trap
- Bottle of poison
- Healing herbs, three doses
- Lockpicks
- Vial of acid
- Bottle of holy water
- Powerful lodestone
- Bottle of laudanum
- Ice skates
- Elastic cord, 10ft
- Pliers, loop of wire
- Jar of glue
- Weighty iron tongs
- Metal flasks, 3
- Bag of costume jewellery
- Lute
- Snorkel
- Flint and steel
- Small tent
- Scented soap, 3 bars
- Pitchfork (d6)
- Barbed and weighted net (d6)
- Small metal mirror
- Bag of chalk
- Holy symbol
- Jar of grease
- Sack of ground pepper
- Towel
- Iron ingots, 3
- Wind-up clockwork toy
- Excellent pair of boots
- Smoke bombs, 3
- Axe (d6)
- Long roll of paper
- Sachets of potent spices
- Sturdy shears
- Box of metal springs
- Silver needle and silken thread
- Large wheel of expensive cheese
- Heavy iron pipes, 3
- Waterproof bag
- Censer and chain
- Bottle of stimulants
- Alchemists tape
- Paper, quill and ink in a writing case
- Ironbound holy tome
- Satchel of charcoal
- Pickaxe (d6)
- Cold chisel
- Bag of salt
- Bottle of sleeping pills
- Small barrel, rolls easily
- Sack of ball bearings
- Pungent perfume
- Hefty tarpaulin
- Shovel (d6)
- Bale of silk
- Flask of alchemical coolant
- Jar of leeches
- Spyglass
- Whittling knife
- Mortar and pestle
- Magnifying glass
- Hand-cranked propeller
- Dye bottles, RGB
- Big candles, 3
- Bronze water-syringe
- Spectacles with tinted lenses
- Sack of coal
- Compass
- Silver dust
- Bottle of alchemical base - Any weird liquid added will make it into a related potion
- Ornate hand mirror
- Pair of steel shackles
- Mosquito net
- Set of bellows
- Zwish Army Knife - Comes with a blade and three other attachments (1d8): 1. File, 2. Magnifying glass, 3. Lockpick, 4. Tweezers, 5. Corkscrew, 6. Hook, 7. Screwdriver, 8. Scraper
- Empty potion bottle, 3
- Twice-Boiled Lock-Grease - Applied to an open lock, allows the door to close and be seemingly locked. Anyone that knows the grease is applied can easily open it again
- Gorgok Bladder - Elastic sac small enough to fit in a closed fist. When struck, the bladder will rapidly swell to 3ft. Can shatter wood and bend metal
- Hole-Breakers, 3 - Single-use pitons. When used with a hammer to breach a hole in a solid surface the result will always be a 4ft diameter hole
- Bottled Ghost - When released, it can do one of: learn a secret about a named target, control the lights and locks of a dungeon room, reveal three locations on a map
- Bottle of Muta-Metal - Pours out and solidifies into the shape the holder is picturing, an item, a weapon, a chain, a seal around a door. Rusts and shatters in a few days
- Bottle of Blue Goo - Thick and sticky, stains heavily, smells like forgotten yoghurt. Interferes with magical items, any creature that gets it on its bare skin will be horrified
- Bottled Lightning - d12 damage to nearest metal target. Might be recharged by a real lightning strike
- Potion of Healing - Heals the drinker to full HP+5 or fixes one recent injury
- Potion of Cloudkill - d6 poison damage per round until dispersed
- Potion of Sealing and Binding - When unstoppered, releases writhing sticky black tendrils, enough to fill a room
- Potion of Haste - The drinker can take 1d4 damage to move or take another action, as many times as they want in a single round. Damage applies each time
- Potion of Invisible Flame - d6 fire damage per round, without heat or light
- Potion of Shrinking or Growing - 50% chance of each, 5x larger or smaller
- Potion of Telepathy - Links together everyone that takes a shot
- Potion of Chaos - Grants the powers of a random Arcana until the drinker falls asleep
- Potion of Resurrection - Add the fingernails, blood, spit, and hair of a corpse. Turns the drinker into them, with their memories, until they fall asleep
- Potion of Parrot Juice - Allows the drinker to mimic sounds until they leave the area they are currently in. Probably not made of parrots. Probably
- Potion of Polymorph - Transforms the drinker into a random animal until they eat something
- Potion of Head Swapping
- Potion of Etherealness - Turns the drinker into a ghost until they exhale
- Potion of Weightlessness - Lasts until next touching the ground
- Potion of Fusion - Combines two things that are splashed while in contact
- Potion of Lignification - Turns the drinker into a tree
- Potion of Bad Luck - All critical successes are critical failures, disadvantage on checks if the drinker really needed them to succeed, and take 1d6 damage at a random point each day. Cured like a curse
- Potion of Eye Growing - 1d6 of them, random locations. Each has a 50% chance of working right away, otherwise it might need fixing somehow
- Potion of Mutation - Drink for one, inject for 1d6 mutations
- Potion of Control - The drinker will obey the next three instructions they receive
- Potion of Love - Makes the drinker fall in love with the next person they see OR with the owner of hair in it
- Potion of Mana - All spells deal +1d6 damage or otherwise have their affects increased. Lasts until the drinkers is damaged or drinks water
- Potion of Liquefaction - Poured onto a hard object causes it to melt into an oily version of itself. Drunk, turn into an oozy puddle that can vaguely move. Wears off in sunlight, slowly
- Potion of Blindness - Whether drunk or splashed into eyes, permanent
- Scroll of Summoning - Whatever the reader describes appears in a flash of sludge. What it does next is completely up to it. Alternatively, the reader can describe what they want the summoned entity to do, something will show up but it might not be ideal
- Scroll of Teleportation - Must be somewhere the reader can see, or knows extremely well. Otherwise (1d4): be cast into the outer void, be sunk deep into the earth, appear screaming in the sky, end up somewhere pretty alright
- Scroll of Gore - Next time the reader is damaged, spray blood and guts in a wide arc. Illusory, but look and smell pretty realistic
- Potion of the Legendary Fighter - The drinker is possessed by the spirit of Braddon the Breaker, a legendary hero who was devoured by an alchemical ooze. They cannot use magical equipment or abilities, but have +6 STR and doubled HP. Lasts until they forget they are Braddon or sleep
- Potion of the Legendary Scoundrel - The drinker is possessed by the spirit of Mingola the Thrice-Vanished, a legendary hero who was devoured by an alchemical ooze. They cannot use magical abilities or large weapons, but have +6 DEX and can't be hit while dodging. Lasts until they forget they are Mingola or sleep
- Potion of the Legendary Sorcerer - The drinker is possessed by the spirit of Vasho Hightower, a legendary villain who was devoured by an alchemical ooze. They cannot use combat abilities, weapons or armour, but have +6 CHA and can command all animals and elements. Lasts until they forget they are Vasho or sleep
- Potion of Intelligence - Makes you incredibly smart, 1-in-6 chance of it wearing off each time you say something, which makes you incredibly dumb ("duhhh"). Dumbness lasts until you sleep
- Scroll of Adventure - An inverted treasure map. Tells you to do something brave and/or stupid. If you do it, 1-in-6 chance of becoming a treasure chest. Otherwise, gives you another instruction
- Scroll of Hideous Death - Hits a random target that hears the scroll read aloud, including you
- Scroll of Convenience - Gives you one item that you'll probably need soon
- Scroll of Catherine - Summons Catherine, a woman in a blue dress, who obeys polite requests. Disappears soon after the tasks are complete
- Scroll of Mending - Inorganic targets only
- Scroll of Duplication - Complicated, living or magical targets will probably be duplicated poorly
- Scroll of Dispelling - Prevents a single magical effect from activating while the scroll is being read, once the reader stops the scroll is used up
- Scroll of Move Curse - Requires a willing or immobile recipient, animals might only take half the curse
- Scroll of Transmutation - Turns an object or immobile target into something you have a sample of
- Scroll of Illusion - Whatever you can describe in a single breath appears somewhere nearby. Acts vaguely correctly, if silently. Lasts until touched
- Scroll of Sleep - Anyone who hears you read the whole thing aloud falls asleep
- Scroll of Knowledge - Answers three questions of your choice on a particular topic. Must be the same topic. Vague questions give vague answers
- Scroll of Reverse Gravity -
- Scroll of Returning - Draw the attached glyph somewhere or on something. When used, this scroll either teleports the reader to the location, or the object to the reader
- Scroll of Invisibility - Lasts until you make a noise
- Psicrystal of Madness - When broken, every sentient creature in eyeshot is rendered (1d4): blind, prone, screaming or armless until someone explains to them that it’s not real
- Psicrystal of Faith - While holding it, the user can do anything if they believe they can do it. Shatters afterwards
- Psicrystal of Sending - Anything whispered into it is heard by every creature from here to the horizon, then it shatters
- Psicrystal of Antimagic - When broken, all currently active spells in the area end suddenly
- Psicrystal of Fear - While held by a sleeping creature, manifests their nightmares for everyone within earshot. When the sleeper wakes, the crystal shatters
- Psicrystal of Creation - Constructs an illusion in the mind of a single named target. Looks, sounds and feels real. Lasts until its proven to be false or if the illusion would damage the target, then the crystal shatters
- Psicrystal of Swarming - Once activated, breaks into three flying crystals, each with 1hp, dealing d4 slashing damage
- Psicrystal of Genesis - Once activated, can be moulded into any shape the user desires, but cannot increase in size. Works once
- Psicrystal of Defence - Once activated, grows to surround your body in a thick layer of tough crystal. Easy to shatter from the inside
- Totem of Protection - When held close to the body, blocks a single spell, then snaps
- Totem of Feather Falling - Snap while falling to float gently down. Alternatively, snap against something to make it weightless for a few moments
- Totem of Rest - Snap to recover d6 HP and feel incredibly alert, relaxed and focused
- Totem of Power - Snap to recharge a magic item, or in place of expending it
- Totem of Fog - Snap to produce a cloud of thick fog
- Totem of Turning - Snap to cause d6 undead to cower and flee, starting with the weakest
- Totem of Confusion - Snap to cause everyone nearby to swap places and situations
- Totem of Escape - Snap to teleport outside of the structure you are in
- Totem of Armaments - Snap to create a random melee weapon. The weapon is made of wood, but sharp as metal
- Totem of Flame - Once snapped, both ends begin smoking. The next round, each explodes for d6 fire damage
Memento
- Flute
- Broken locket
- Tea-set for two
- Knucklebones of a saint... probably
- Bottle of something tasty
- Flask of something strange
- Box of snuff
- Tobacco pouch
- Fluffy cushion
- Hand-written poetry
- Dog collar
- Diploma
- Potted succulent
- Warm cloak
- Unsent letter
- Chess set
- Tobacco and pipe
- Drinking horn
- Questionable mushrooms
- Novel, half-read
- Silk top-hat
- Vial of glowing blue substance
- White wedding-dress
- Clerical vestments
- Marked cards and loaded dice
- Music box
- Ceramic demon mask
- Ring with hidden compartment
- Shiny locket
- Challenging puzzle box
- White powdered wig
- Worry stone
- Cracked monocle
- Double-headed coin
- Red piece of string
- Strangely familiar boots
- Mining pick that looks half-melted and terribly bent
- Wooden training sword
- Brass doorknob
- Treasure map drawn by a child
- Shaker full of beans
- Shiny rock
- Bag of humanoid teeth
- Ring of rusty keys
- Tiny steam engine
- Silver ring missing its gem
- Small sewing kit with some red thread
- Old military medals
- Iron nose ring
- Shiny rock
- Dried ear
- Box of tiny bells
- Jar of honey
- Hefty, ornate bronze key
- Shopping list full of potion ingredients
- Broken music box
- The lid of an inkwell
- Fist-sized toy elephant, made from soft yellow wool
- Jar of preserved apples, sealed with bound red leather
- Copper heart locket with a tooth in it
- Slender bone flute with carefully drilled triangular holes
- Journal recounting the life of an anxious baker
- Nesting dolls
- Ornate flask with old ale in it
- Note reading "I'll be back soon. Stay safe. I love you."
- Ornate case, inoperable
- Deed for a castle dated hundreds of years ago
- Scroll with ancient fighting technique
- Jar full of mismatched buttons
- Three steel arrowheads
- Roll of fine parchment
- Flag of an enemy kingdom
- Child's blanket
- Horse saddle buckle
- Bag of thumb tacks
- Empty box of many things
- Talking onion
- Fancy clothes
- Rolled up rug
- Bearskin cloak
- Etched skull
- Owlbear feather quill
- Page from a grimoire
- Single dragon's scale
- Mother of pearl button
- Brown haired wig
- Screw or bolt from some strange machine
- Peg leg
- Melted iron symbols
- Message in a bottle
- Wedding ring
- The winding key of a clockwork toy
- Set of spectacles
- Pet collar with a broken latch
- Single, tiny brass gear
- Ewer of wine
- Single chess piece
- Rabbit foot
- Incomplete deck of cards
- Walking stick
- Common-looking flask
- Toy doll
- Set of apparently useless keys
- Empty potion bottle
- Rock with two painted eyes on it
- Tear-stained confession from a prince/ss
- Broken pendant
- Stone statue
- Sword handle
- Quill pen
- Single silk stocking
- Gigantic light green sock
- Tiny book of Sylvan writing
- Tiny hat
- Bag of marbles
- Trumpet
- Bottle of Black Pear Wine - Once drunk, allows you to perceive and interact with (the rather dangerous) Black Pear Trees. Otherwise, they don’t exist
- Squid - Alive and well in its jar. Seemingly cramped, but very happy
- Bottle of eyeballs
- Wizard doll, complete with tiny hat, robe and wand
- Dried fairy, stuck through with a pin
Failed Career
- Peasant - If you are shown how, you can do any task about as well as your instructor, so long as they give you continual direction
- Farmer - You always know either what’s wrong with a crop or animal, or how to fix it, but never both
- Shepherd - You can cajole animals in any direction
- Hunter - So long as you pay appropriate respects to nature, she will respect you as one of her own (which might include respectfully eating you)
- Thresher - If anyone can find a needle in a haystack, it's you
- Gardener - You can dig up any plant without immediately killing it, given proportionate tools and time
- Butcher - You can bleed every last drop out of a corpse, and make anything into sausages
- Lumberjack - Trees you cut always fall the way you want
- Baker - So long as you’ve got flour and fire, you can make anything into a cake or pie
- Fisherman - You are incredibly patient, and can wait for something as long and exactly as required
- Author - If you go on a proper adventure and live to write about it, it's got a 50% chance of being successful. Only one chance
- Priest - When you bury a body and perform a funeral rite over it, that body cannot rise from the dead
- Launderer - Able to determine the source of any stain, and how best to remove it
- Well Maker - Always know the distance below soil to water
- Blacksmith - Recognise all metals and ores on sight, including all the grey ones (most of them)
- Cobbler - You can ask one question about someone based on their shoes or well-defined bootprints, it'll be answered so long as its possible
- Merchant - Once, ever, you know exactly what it is that will make someone accept a deal, and you have it in your pocket
- Butler - You can instantly recognise if something is out of place, if you've seen the room before
- Carpenter - If you examine a lump of wood, you can determine what object or item it would most easily be carved into
- Mason - If you examine a lump of stone, you can determine what object or item it would most easily be chiselled into
- Squire - You can sacrifice yourself to save somebody else
- Grave Robber - The first time you'd be cursed, it hits the closest person to you
- Sailor - You know the traditions required to placate gods and spirits of wind and water, including the ones that don't exist. You can't swim
- Jester - You can make everyone forget the last thing you said by saying or doing something even more outrageous
- Soldier - You can eat anything, sleep anywhere, complain about everything and always run faster than your allies
- Experiment Survivor - You were deemed a mixed success (1d4): d6 ranged, d8 melee, d6 acid, d4 psychic, but not usable (1d4): while at 0 HP, while at max HP, in sunlight, while hungry
- Aristocrat - You've lost everything, but until they realise it, everyone will defer to you
- Companion - If you are giving someone a massage, they'll answer one question by accident, even if they weren't intending to
- Smuggler - You can pass off magic items as mundane with a moments work
- Thug - You don't care if you get your nose broken (again), and can fight with any one-handed weapon while grappling
- Stonecutter - You can smell when a rock-related accident is going to occur
- Cutpurse - Your footsteps are silent, so long as you are walking carefully
- Hermit - You know one vague yet menacing prediction about the future. Perhaps it'll come to pass
- Brewer - If it can rot, you can turn it into booze
- Cooper - You can tell at a glance if barrel is full, empty, damaged, broken or tampered with
- Glassblower - With access to a hot enough flame and pure sand, you can make bottles, vials, cups, "art"
- Librarian - If you repair and return a book to its rightful place, you can access its contents mentally
- Jeweller - If a gemstone or piece of jewellery is real, you'll always know immediately upon inspecting it
- Prisoner - If you sit still and do nothing, you can do without either food or water (but not both)
- Tinker - If you sell something to someone on the road, you can make a prediction about their future. It'll happen to them if they deserve it
- Sinecure - You did absolutely nothing in your job, but you can easily impress anyone with your seals and signatures so long as they don't pay attention
- Fletcher - Don't bother tracking mundane arrows, you can always make more
- Trapper - Crows and other scavengers will trade you trinkets for scraps
- Farrier - You can reshoe an animal in such a way to deal up to d8 damage to the next rider
- Servant - If someone expects you to be somewhere, you are completely invisible to them
- Gambler - If you ask someone outright whether they are lying or not, you can tell if the "no" is false. If they dissemble, get angry or don't answer, it doesn't work
- Cupbearer - You are immune to ingested poisons
- Miner - You can "see" in total darkness as far as you can reach
- Scribe - When you read or hear a new language for the first time, you can declare you have total fluency in it. Works once
- Shaman - If you yell at some clouds, they'll either go away or rain on you
- Actor - Once you get fully into character (takes some time and a costume), nothing and nobody can convince you to break it against your will
- Haberdasher - If you meet someone while wearing an outlandish hat, they'll always remember the hat instead of you
- Milkmaid - One animal that you care for will never sicken, get lost, or be stolen
- Thatcher - You are uncannily good at finding and plugging leaks
- Philosopher - You know the exact and complete answer to one question posed
- Tax Collector - If you so choose, you can say a single normal sentence to someone and make them hate you completely
- Poet - If you make up a rumour or spread a fact about someone, it’ll always stick. They’ll know it came from you though
- Beekeeper - The first time you’d die from poison, you are instead cripplingly ill for a week
- Outlaw - If you threaten someone, even idly, you can tell what they value most in life
- Apocathary - If you know the recipe for a concoction, you can ignore one of the ingredients
- Spy - Tell someone your name to learn one of their secrets
- Rat Catcher - You have a loyal pet rat, it understands everything you say, and would die for you
- Crooked Cop - Roll 1d4 for each new interesting person you meet. 1. They owe you a debt, 2. You owe them a debt
- Firefighter - Heal 1d4 when you save any person
- Postman - Start with three letters or packages, to be delivered to people of your choice
- Ferryman - You always know which way the tide is going. The first time you check, it’s going the way you want
- Witch - If someone mocks or openly disrespects you, you can inflict them with a random curse (defaults to turning them into a frog). Works once
- Cultist - You can sacrifice yourself to summon an aberration
- Bureaucrat - Always know exactly how much it would take to bribe somebody
- Miller - Given enough plants, a source of power and a big rock, you can make food for everyone
- Tanner - Given enough urine, you can make hides and skins last forever
- Bookbinder - Start with as many awful, useless or broken books as you can name
- Diplomat - You can say three words in every language
- Weaver - You can turn material into thread, thread into cloth and cloth into clothes while doing something else
- Fortune-Teller - If you read somebodies fortune you know what they want to hear, as well as a harsh truth
- Banker - People always accept your promises of future riches are true or at least plausible. They'll probably follow around to make sure you pay up
- Herbalist - Declare that any weed or leaf has useful properties. 50% chance of being right, roll only when tested
- Barber - While giving someone a haircut, they’ll tell you their life story if you answer in kind
- Cook - By making it into "brown" you can remove the positive and negative traits of strange meats
- Porter - If you are carrying something bulky and valuable, you can sunder it like a shield (block 1d12 damage)
- Chandler - You can turn leftover grease into candles with effort and ash. Strange meats and strange ashes make for strange candles
- Mountebank - You can turn practically anything into "medicine", it might even work
- Cheesemonger - Start with a horrendously pungent wheel of cheese
- Clockmaker - Start with three unfinished clocks. Plausible useful as alarms, timers, trap triggers, and shrapnel
- Rebel - Start with three firebombs (d6) and a bunch of pamphlets
- Jailer - Start with an immense ring of keys, handcuffs and a cudgel (d6)
- Minstrel - Start with an instrument of your choice. If you sing while travelling, your companions will move a little faster (to get away from it)
- Gladiator - While at 0hp, kill an enemy in a stylish manner to restore 1d4hp. Requires an audience
- Plucky Urchin - So long as you aren’t carrying any weapons, you can’t be killed by weapons unless you are specifically executed
- Warlord - Start with a man-at-arms (6hp, d6 weapon, 1a) and a camp follower (2hp). Both will betray you if you are weak
- Lawyer - Your cutting words and scathing arguments deal 1 damage
- Drunkard - Take a swig to heal 1hp, even if it’s poured down your throat
Odd Item
- Magic coin with your face on it. At will you can teleport it back to yourself, no matter how far away it may be
- Indestructible nail of adamantine
- Journal that writes back to you
- Powdered mix of shattered wands and ground unicorn horn
- Hawk, can communicate telepathically with you. Has an attitude. 4hp, d4 claw
- Ooze preserved in formaldehyde, will grow bigger and stranger if fed
- Tattoo, it moves about your body at will... just not always yours
- Skull-crack - You can project your thoughts given time and a nosebleed
- Ethereal flare, attracts spirits if burnt
- Glass eye, you can still see through it if it's popped out
- Single bead of curse-metal in a lead box
- Snuff, causes confusion and delight when inhaled
- Tiny Moon - Mostly orbits you if you let it out of its bag, but intensely curious. Reflects sunlight from somewhere different
- "Yeast" - If you add it to a small barrel of organic matter and water, it spontaneously becomes strong alcohol overnight. Leave the jar nearby, it'll climb back inside once it's done
- Earth-Angel - Tiny clay figurine that can be smashed to cause an earthquake
- Threatening Probe - Has no function, but glows and vibrates in a way that suggests it could be used for distributing extreme pain
- Gore Candle - Any injuries that happen in the presence of this candle's light are extra painful, messy, and harmful, dealing +1d6 damage
- Nugget of very impure gold the size of your fist
- Dark purple tea from beyond the seas. Properly brewed, it helps send departed spirits on their way, and can cure wounds of the soul. Burned, it makes a potent sacrifice to any god
- A deal made with the monster under your bed
- Everice - Never melts
- Stick of the Titan - Hits for 3d8, then breaks
- Sovereign Glue - Stick anything together
- Universal Solvent - Dissolve any bonds
- Dimensional Shackles - While a target is bound, they cannot teleport, dematerialise, change form or otherwise escape via magic
- Grim Lantern - Glows for 1d10 hours after a sentient creature dies near it
- Dramatic Cloak - Will flutter behind dramatically, hide weapons, keep you warm. Feed it rats
- Windbag - Hold it open to catch one, slam it shut, open it again to release it
- Box of twenty big bright blue matches. When struck, light whatever is being stared at
- Small metal box. If you place something in it, close the latch and give it a shake, when you open the box it will be (1d6): 1. Gone 2. Turned to ash 3. A different colour 4. A different material 5. Replaced with a different object 6. Bizarrely improved
- Wooden Pipe - You can learn secrets about something or someone by smoking a portion of it
- Half-tame Grumbleshrub - Can carry notes, supplies, daggers. Will follow basic commands, water it with blood
- Tiny hand-cranked electric generator
- Your family butler choked to death on a fishbone. Such was his loyalty, he came back to work the next day. He now follows you, mute and slightly mouldy, providing handkerchiefs to clean up messes and polishing metal objects
- You have a psychic connection to a dreaming priest several continents away. You'll never meet them, but perhaps they can help you
- Golden Hymms - Pair of golden bells, each will ring whenever its sibling does
- Chalky lump of rock from the moon, blue stain on one side. Throw it at a source of magic to interfere with it
- Small iron can, melted shut, with (1d6): "owlbear", "demon", "fireball", "house", "zombie", "harlot" etched into it
- Pete - A talking skull. Pretty chill, died a different way every time asked
- Rubbery, preserved eyeball. Lick it to see what it has seen in the last hour. Overuse can result in loss of motor functions
- Stone Bowl of Budget Fortune - Give a coin to a beggar, gather three hairs from three different animals, and fill it with rainwater. Drop in the three hairs one by one, and breath the steam. You will have a vision of a possible future. Each type of coin will only work once, and each type of animal will only work once
- Two sheets of paper, what is written on one appears on the other
- Strange, black egg, slightly flexible
- Three-pronged metal claw in place of a hand. No joints, it just bends when you focus on it
- Stiletto of Sentience - If you stab it into something, it animates, poorly
- Pet Rock - He is a prince amongst his people. He cannot talk, or move, but believes you to be very loyal
- Spirit, trapped in a chunk of worthless crystal. Is pissed off about it. Can twinkle at you menacingly
- Brain in a Jar - Studded with strange mechanisms. Feed it blood, ask it things
- Bag of Groan-salt - Scatter it on a wound to double damage, causes immense pain
- Jar of liquid dark - Open it to spray anti-light. Enough for about an hour of gloom if you let it trickle out
- Petrified Lightning - Break towards target. Wear a blindfold and earmuffs
- Idol of some forgotten demon or godling. Pray. Sacrifice. Build it a shrine
- Brain Jelly - Packed into the skull of a fresh-killed corpse, it will animate and perform simple commands
- Alicorn Powder - Cures all diseases, poisons and HP damage, but inflicts the Curse of the Alicorn (all critical successes are now critical failures)
- Fairy Dust - Allows you to fly, slowly, so long as you are thinking happy thoughts
- Bottle labeled "DO NOT DRINK"
- Silk Top-hat - It belongs to the irate talking rabbit that lives inside it
- Black Lotus - When smoked, 50% chance of gaining a random psionic power. Once it wears off, 5% chance of keeping it permanently, 5% chance of going insane
- Cracked chunk of stone, infomorphic. Will fix any ancient eldritch altars. If there's a missing piece, it will take its place
- Bag of Rust Dust - Enough to turn a full suit of platemail into scrap
- Bag of Angry Bees - Three hives worth
- Chunk of clay golem torso, twitches occasionally
- Dehydrated Devil - Don't allow it to come in contact with blood
- Termite Swarm - In a vial, impossible to get back in, good at devouring houses and doors
- Orphan's Top - Cannot be spun if there are any invisible undead nearby
- Blood of Luroc - Adds 1d6 rooms and 1d4-1 hallways to a building
- Tiny perpetual motion machine
- Mechanical torchbearer
- Glass cask of acid
- Carcerian Arrows, 3 - Arrows with forked iron heads, when more than one is fired in an area, iron chains sprout linking the arrows together
- Mighty Acorn - Grows into an oak when thrown
- Three iron coins. Disappear when flipped, to pay for an unknown service
- Ent logs, 3 - Powerful magical fuel, can be made into wands
- Destroyed phylactery
- Magic Key - Opens any door to an interdimensional room, the same one each time
- Eye Pebble. Anything it sees is reflected in a tiny mirror
- Sending Stamps, 3 - Attach it to something smaller than a breadbox with an attached address and it'll wind up near them
- Invisibility Tea-towel
- Crystal Ball - Shows far away places. Random location each time, maybe you can learn how to control where it shows
- Goblin Key - Locks any lock, can't unlock anything
- Omnidress - Can turn into any type of dress (can even imitate leather armor, but not metal)
- Physical remnants of a broken curse
- Small broom - When activated, will attempt to clean the dirtiest thing nearby
- Giant's Ochre - Anything painted with this pigment will double in size. Washes off easily with water or sweat. (If you paint yourself, it'll wash off after 1d6 rounds of sweaty combat)
- The Whetstone - Can sharpen anything with only a few swipes
- Dozen imp-and-lead cartridges. Each one fired is a sin
- Votive Candles, 3 - When burnt in prayer, summon an ancestral spirit that (1d4): 1. Berates you about your life choices, 2. Tells you one truth and one lie, 3. Tells you two truths and a lie, 4. Will help you to the best of its ability
- Homunculus Gum - Chewing it up grants you ownership over this small, rubbery, cranky, sticky golem. Can't move when dried out
- Grenades, 3 - Frognade, Anti-Gravity, Blasphemous
- Sending Stamps - Attach it to an object with an attached address and it'll wind up near them. Enough for three letters or small packages
- Bucket of illusory goop, forms into whatever you are thinking
- Mithril Needle - Twitches in the presence of a righteous, pure heart
- Green Slime - In a carefully sealed black-glass container. Converts any organic material into more green slime in seconds. Killed by fire and sunlight
- Deathroach Egg - Stored under a thick layer of special wax. Once this is peeled away, the deathroach hatches in minutes. Whatever flesh it tastes first is the only thing it will ever kill or eat. The roach is sleepless flying murder machine. Care should be taken to sterilise the victim's corpse with lye, lest its brood hatch and hunt without guidance
- Sword Hydra - When broken, sprouts two new blades
- Extremely Cursed Thing - Long, sharp, has a handle, deals d6 damage. If you say what it is, you gain a curse
- Invisible Rapier - Don't forget which end is pointy
- Talking, sentient hat with excellent (antiquated) fashion sense
- Silver mirror that shows an image of a random, distant locale every midnight
- Unassuming Candle - When lit, a black flame eats the light and darkens the area
- Wrought-iron crown of thorns. When the wearer tells a lie, they cry blood
- Small metal box, captures up to an hour of tinny (literally) sound
- Whip used for self-flagellation. Wounds caused bleed terribly, but do not hurt
- Ring of Swimming - Wearer treats air as if it had the consistency of water. You can "fly" by swimming through the air, but the air is too thick to breath. Other water penalties also apply
- Ring of Petrification - Turn to stone while worn, reversible if ring removed
- Ring of Alternate Self - Roll once per wearer (1d6): 1. swap gender, 2. invert stats, 3. different lifestyle, 4. different race, 5. minor cosmetic difference, 6. corpse
- Ring of Good Omen - Absorbs a curse, spells or disease, difficult to "clean out" safely
- Ring of Tact - Twisted metal, buzzes horridly when you're about to say something "bad" for the situation (you can take 1d4 damage to take back the last thing you said)
- Tome of Curses - Reading a paragraph causes agony, a full page inflicts a random curse
- Serrated Dagger - It can't cut flesh ever
- Vivid Paint - Anything painted comes to life but can't leave the surface it was made on
- Crows Teeth, 3 - Transforms you, but not your equipment, into a crow until you feast upon a corpse
- Scimitar of Time - Appears for one second each hour
- Singing Crystal - Once touched, hums oddly for a while. Comes wrapped in silk
- Jar of Prima Materia - Materially improves the structure, material, capability etc. of whatever it is poured on. Rather poisonous (or so it seems)
- Tarrasque Scale - Don't get it wet!
- Tiny Mimic - It lives in your bag. Feed it crickets
- Alchemical glass chunks - Doesn't react to acid, poison, heat or cold
- Enigma - Whatever it is, looking at it directly or thinking about too much causes insanity
- Wax Charm - Requires a candle and an hour, if the candle is lit and burns out, a small effect occurs like tipping over strongly, flaring up, or melting into a specific shape
- Exploding Cocaine - Three sachets of fun
- Clockwork heart, still ticking, highly volatile
- Quartz Flute - Notes played on the flute also create ephemeral coloured lights
- Ingots of platinum-occultum - Respond telekinetically to strong thoughts
- Sheaf of gold-occultum sheets - Ultra-conductor, put in contact with any acid or energised medium will result in bolts of lightning
- Spool of tin-occultum wire - Impossibly flexible and elastic, springs made from this material are incredible and dangerous
- Lump of copper-occultum alloy - Flexible memory-metal, bends in the hand, slides back into shape
- Jar of mercury-occultum alloy - Silvery fluid, seems to enjoy picking locks, solving puzzles, unscrewing jars
- Hand Mirror of Lies - Whoever holds it controls what it shows
- Cup of Judgement - If you drink from the cup and have committed the sin engraved upon it, die immediately
- Golden Anklet-Bells - Cheery sound can be heard for miles by the undead, who hate it and will risk true death to end their ringing
- Slayer Kit - Mirror, salt, silver wire, silver knife, silver shackles, holy water, stakes, mallet, garlic, wolfsbane, all in a sturdy many-pocketed bag
- “What, This Old Thing?” - Once, ever, you can declare that you’ve been carrying any item that hasn’t yet been seen in-game. It might be a cunning fake, a knock-off or won’t quite meet your description, but it’ll still be what you say it is
- Dulcet Wires - Lamellophone that is held in the mouth. Makes your voice much softer and higher. If held in the mouth backwards and upside down, makes your much voice rougher and lower
- Wheeled Boots of Mobility
- Jar of Magnetic Fire - Also known as phlox borealis, this purple flame only burns northwards, and will do so until it hits water
- Jar of Phlogiston - This fire is naturally predisposed to move pistons, heat water, melt iron and perform chemical reactions, as opposed to base fire which merely seeks to spread
- Jar of Kraken's Ink - Glass jar slightly more transparent than anything around it. When poured on an opaque surface, the ink instead corrupts light that falls open it. Looking at this unstable spectrum rapidly causes mental trauma
- Siegestones, 3 - A single stone is enough to blast down a barred wooden door in an instant. Using more than one at a time is inadvisable
- Cigarettes - Smoke to heal d4 hp. On a 4, you are addicted and cannot heal at all without a smoke
- Wizard Teeth, 3 - Crush it up and snort it to gain a single-use spell that the wizard knew
- Wizard Skull - Contains 1d6 bizarre spells, but getting them out is tricky
- Witch Heart - Absorbs curses during casting. 1-in-6 chance of exploding, releasing all held curses. If pierced, automatically explodes
- Saint Eyeball - Lick it to reveal hidden spectral presences. Afterwards, have a seizure for d6 rounds
- Druid Tongue - Eat it to learn the language of an animal you are looking at. 1-in-10 chance that it replaces a different language you know
- Warlock Ash - If smeared on face, clothes and hair, fools magical detectors into thinking you are them
- Jar of royal blood
- Magical Teabags, 3 - If steeped properly in pure boiling water, produce a potion. Only works if drunk hot. Dipping directly into open wounds is not advisable
- Longhand Gloves - When the thumb is pulled in and the other fingers held straight, six-inch metal wires extend from each digit
- Bell of the Book-Imp - Summons a small, ugly imp that can memorise any book, as well as recite passages from it. Only remembers one book at a time
- Nine-Foot Pole - Wooden pole with an iron core, when tapped near a magical trap, the trap will make a noise based on its effect
- Tunnel-Rat's Pipe - Hollow iron pipe, one end is sharpened. A strange valve allows air to flow only from the sharpened end to the blunt end, and not the either way around
- Faceflayer of Glitterdeep - Green gemstone knife. Slain targets have their face is replaced with smooth, featureless flesh in 1d6 rounds
- Havoc Warboots - Renders your kicks as effective at kicking down doors, smashing chests and breaking skulls as a good quality axe
- Tripwire Knives - Pair of two-pronged throwing knives. If thrown accurately, can cut a tripwire and pin both ends without springing the trap
- Ring-Dart - 1 damage if punched into exposed flesh. Secret catch on ring causes the barbed-dart to retract to the ring, d6 damage
- Squidskin Sandals - So long as you are sprinting at considerable speed and aren't carrying much, you can run on water
- Magnetic Jackboots - Allow you to walk on metal surfaces no matter the orientation
Weirdness
- Exceptional Tongue - Your tongue is strong and prehensile and as long as your arm
- Four-Letter Vision - You can echolocate as long as you're cussing
- Connoisseur of Rage - You can taste emotions
- Behold Yourself - You can change your hair and eye colour every time you see your reflection
- Not All There - 1-in-20 people believe you are a hallucination. They will persist stubbornly despite evidence
- Bitter Heart - You can make food and drink bitter by scowling at it and thinking nasty thoughts
- Three-Faced-Liar - Strangers will believe the first three words you say
- One of your arms is invisible. Not gone, just completely transparent
- A Gentleman's Agreement - When you die, you can always come back as a ghost
- Owed a favour from a prescient mage. Once you decide what you want for the it, turn over a rock (or equivalent). Has to be something someone could have placed there many years ago
- Satan's Little Finger - Actually just the last digit, it's half the size of your forearm. Unknown powers, but you'll instinctively know if there are other body parts nearby
- Slime living symbiotically in your digestive tract
- Avenging Angel - When you die, an angel bursts from your corpse and slays everything
- No belly button
- You cry oil
- Soul Gaze - Looking into someones eyes allows you to ask their subconscious one question. They get to ask you one back
- Quadruple Jointed - One of your arms has an extra two elbows
- Diplomatic Immunity - If in a strictly fatal environment (black hole, lava etc.) you can survive for 1d6 rounds. Works once
- Bloodline - A random bodypart is improved, as they were in the ancient times. Roll d8 on the list of Scars, the first time you’d get that result, lose the improvement instead
- Second Chance - Instead of dying, a random nearby ally takes your place. Works once
- Bird in the Hand - Can remove and reattach your hand. You can still control it while it's detached
- Names of people you kill appear on your skin
- Powerful Name - It echoes and reverberates whenever pronounced
- Soul Devourer - If you slowly kill someone whose name you know, you can heal all HP or absorb one of their traits
- Living Bomb - When you die, explode for 2d10 damage
- Indestructible Hand - While you are alive, your hand cannot be harmed by anything
- Murder Whistle - You can whistle loud enough to deal 1 damage in a 50ft radius
- Hidden compartment in chest
- Glowing Teeth
- Guide Wires - If about to fall over, wires and clamps leap from ears. Cannot be knocked prone
- Strange Blood - Blood is replaced with (1d8): 1. Glass, 2. Water, 3. Glue, 4. Ants, 5. Sand, 6. Sap, 7. Spiders, 8. Milk
- Even Stranger Blood - Blood is replaced with (1d8): 1. Fire, 2. Sound, 3. Even more blood (unlimited), 4. Light, 5. Tiny people, 6. Vacuum, 7. Eyeballs, 8. Failed potions
- Wyrd Eye - d8: 1. Red dot shows wherever you are looking, 2. Black orb, weeps oil, 3. Red, glows in the dark, 4. Orbits head, empty socket, 5. Green and wobbly, becomes a slime if you die, 6. Grey and milky, sees shadows and souls only, 7. Blue, random location, 8. Cyclops
- Additional Eye - d6: 1. Forehead, 2. Palm, 3. Stalk, 4. Back of head, 5. Tongue, 6. Cluster on face
- Eldritch Marks - d6: 1. Blue star on forehead, 2. Grey spots and lines, like constellations, glow faintly at night, 3. Silver lines around eyes, 4. Glowing red circle on forehead, 5. Chest covered with sigils, burned, scarred, 6. Fingertips leave neon traces
- Ferric Nature - You are slightly magnetic
- Retractable Head - It sucks all the way into your chest
- Voice of the Gods - When attempting to intimidate or impress others, there is a 1-in-6 chance thunder rolls off in the distance
- Owl Neck - Your head can spin around completely
- Rixator Ignis - You can intimidate small fires into going out by yelling at them
- Stony Air - You can grab handfuls of gases as if they were solids
- Trollblooded - You can regrow fingers and toes
- Powerful Guesser - You can make eye contact with someone and know their second worst fear
- Haunted - The last enemy you killed haunts you until you replace them
- Background Fade - When determining an effect that will target one member of the party randomly, you will never be selected
- Mimicry - After listening to someone for a few minutes, you can perfectly replicate their voice. Only one voice at a time
- Chameleon - You can change the colour of your skin at-will
- Water Breathing - You can breath underwater. Duh. You can't heal HP in very dry environments
- Noxious Gland - Your saliva is greatly acidic
- Dreaming - When you die, you'll wake up in the real world
- Saintly - You haven't committed a sin in your entire life so far
- Hallucinogenic Blood - Roll 1d6 if splashed, drunk or sprayed into eyes: 1. Arms made of snakes, 2. Metal is delicious, 3. Ants in your eyes, 4. In the emperor's harem, 5. Slowly turning to sand and trickling away, 6. Everything is going reeeeally sloooowly
- Worthy Successor - By making a ten minute speech listing the traits you seek to find, you can bind weapons or armour to a location, thrusting a sword into a stone etc. Afterwards, only someone with all those traits can move the item
- Temple Body - Your body will never rot. You are immune to gangrene and some other diseases
- Purification - Your kisses can undo curses. Particular horrid curses might be inflicted upon you in turn, but you'll know this before you try
- Selective Invulnerability - You take no damage from the first attack you are hit by. You'll never take damage from that type of weapon or element, ever
- Cause Sneeze - Cause sneezing with an evil glare
- Peace of Mind - By closing your eyes, you can nullify as many of your senses as you wish
- Noble - So long as you maintain your high class standards, block the first disease you would suffer from
- Happy - Instead of suffering from a madness, lose this ability and have a morose revelation instead
- Hungry - You can eat a ration in a blink to heal d6
- Come Out, Come Out - You can learn whether you're being observed by posing the question aloud
- Sleepless - You don't, and can't, sleep
- Feign Death - You have no perceptible body heat, heartbeat or breathing
- Vampirism - You don't need to eat, sleep, or breath, but you must drink blood. Allergic to sunlight. Powers and weaknesses develop as you drink more people
- Fae Touched - Anything you say in rhyme is treated as true, whether the listener is mortal or universal. The touch of iron burns you like acid, as do broken promises
- Horns - 1d4 of them, sprouting from your head
- Marked - Ghosts come and find you of their own volition
- Daily Organ Failure - Disadvantage against poison and illness, but neither can ever kill you
- Nervous Expertise - Your fine-motor skills are advantaged, but impossible to succeed upon while you are being watched
- Inner Strength - You are two creatures in one. Your internal ally is boisterous, hungry, and an excellent fighter (d6, 1a). Decide what form they take
- Surprise! - Confetti shoots out of any container you open for the first time
- Goldfinger - Your fingers are made of gold, but are still usable as fingers. Valuable, but never grow back
- Second Opinion - Your arm has a mind of its own. It can help make decisions, but it fundamentally disagrees with you on some key issues
- Botched Internal Compass - You can always choose to get lost, even when it should be impossible
- Martyr - Anything that kills you must save or die
- Snakes for Hair
- Brachiator - You can swing from your arms as fast as you can jog
- Bullish - When you see the colour red, you fly into a fury. You can resist, with effort
- Gunshot Joints - When you crack your knuckles, it makes an incredibly loud sound
- True Omnivore - You can eat anything at all
- Cosmic Awareness - You can detect disturbances in the universe. It's not particularly useful
- Dragon-Sneeze - You sneeze flame
- Addict - If you resist an obvious opportunity to get your fix, you can't heal until you get some. You can easily mask any phobias, insanities or debilities when you are suitably satisfied
- Pious - You can pray instead of eating food, but you might still die of starvation. If you have been cursed or sinful, you must atone/confess before you can heal
- Empty Headed - You are immune to learning, common sense, insanity, fear, mind-reading and sin
- Lightning Rod - Iron spike from head. Immune to lightning damage. Triple damage from magic
- Candelabra Head - 2d6 brass arms grow from your head. Can hold candles, potions, or amulets
- Blind - You can sense the location, position and temperament of every object and creature within 30ft
- Deaf - You can lipread perfectly and can sign with one hand
- Old - You walk a little slower, but nothing can ever slow you down further
- Demigod - Your parent was a very minor deity, but you have "absolute" control over an aspect of their realm
- Fey Mood - You know how to create an artefact of considerable value. If you aren't making progress on it however, you risk madness
- Southpaw - You have two left hands and two left feet
- Scion of Hell - You know how to summon a particular demon. Unfortunately, you are likely to get the "answering machine"
- The Perfect Criminal - You leave no fingerprints, have no identifying features or scars, and are incredibly difficult to pick out of a crowd
- Distinctive - Whether it is your hair, your face, your accent or some combination, anyone you meet will remember you
- Gnomish Trick - You can turn invisible if you hold your breath, stay very still, and close your eyes
- Betrayer - You have horns, and deal double damage to allies
- Goblinoid - Your bones are cartilage, you can only eat meat and you can smell as well as a dog
- Elven Attitude - No wild animal will harm you unprovoked, and are apt to follow you or even help. You take 1 damage if you come anywhere near apologising, or are forced to interact with something ugly or distasteful
- Ogrish - Taste anything to know its origin, but you can't stop yourself from eating
- Metal Bones - You are incredibly hard to knock over, and sink like a stone in water
- Stone Skin - You are immune to fire, and have disadvantage on swimming and running
- Reptilian - So long as you are warm, you can consume rotten meat and brackish water with impunity. Being very cold prevents you from healing at all
- Seraphim - When you are angry, proud or joyous, you manifest a pure aura and/or a halo
- Shark-ish - You grow a new razor-sharp tooth every day. Make sure it has room!
- Homunculus - You are immune to any spells that have to target a person, and can be brought back to life (or something like it) given enough medical attention. You take 1d6 damage if you disobey a direct order from anybody
- Born-of-War - When you kill an enemy in honourable combat, you can ask a question of your future in their entrails
- Tough As Nails - If you suffer an injury you’ll clot in seconds and scar in minutes. Surgery is nearly impossible, but you’ll never die from blood-loss
- Tougher Than Nails - Sharp weapons will splinter if thrust directly into your bare flesh. Same damage as normal
- Hammer-Fist - One of your hands has been replaced with a simple tool (d4): hammer, saw, shovel, pliers
- Your spit is highly flammable
- Two of your limbs have no bones. Your choice which ones
- Voice of Prophecy - You can speak in dramatic and bizarre tones at will, might give yourself a sore throat if you over use it. No matter what you say, everyone will listen
- Dramatic Corpse - In the second before your death, you turn into a statue (only works once, if that ever matters)
- Easily Modified - Your body responds to limb or organ replacements exceptionally well, just stitch it on/in and away you go
- Eternal Rest - When you die, your soul will exit your body in a pillar of flame and become a new star
- Transmigration - When you die, your spirit will become meshed with that of the nearest small animal
- Know Thyself - You can commune with anything infecting, inhabiting or otherwise within you
- Smoke Rings - Shape the smoke from a pipe as you wish
- Tears of Mercy - Your tears (and also blood) soothe pain and hurt
- Encephalovore - Eat the brains of sentient creatures to learn their memories
- Iron Eyes - You can see magnetic fields
- Arboreal Fate - You grow into a tree when you die
- Mystic Name-tag - Everyone who sees you knows your name
- Cloud-speaker - Standing in the rain grants you news from far away lands
- Star-kissed - Meteorites and shooting stars will fall on/near you, given half a chance
- Clockwork Heart - You require a powerful motive force in order to wind up and heal, like rushing wind, flowing water, electricity. You are immune to poison, undeath, soul-magics etc
- Featherstep - You don't leave footprints
- Poison Spot - Blue coin-sized spot on your stomach. Anyone that touches it will probably die
- Hinged Head - Enormous toothy grin ear-to-ear. Head opens like a box
- Spit Teeth - d6 damage but you'll run out some day
- Helpful Tentacles - Two red and blue tentacles appear on shoulders. They try, badly, to help
- Open Soul - Glowing blue mark on forehead, double the effect of all spells both positive and negative
- Memorial Bones - When you die, your skeleton will twist into a tombstone detailing your name, life and death
- Portable Heart - Your heart has fallen out. You can only feel emotions while it’s within 10ft of you
- Odd Invisibility - Invisible while seated in a chair. Has to be a chair. No benches, stools, etc.
- Mighty Thoughts - Your hair stands on end whenever you think difficult thoughts
- Steady Hands - Unnaturally steady. Will never spill a drink. Anything held will not tip or dribble
- Wizard Whistle - Lips become purple. Can whistle to summon your hat or weapon to your hand
- Wizard Rage - While angry, you temporarily grow fangs and a frilled red neck crest
- Wizard Eyebrows - They glow when you experience strong emotions and sometimes shoot sparks
- Curse Palm - If you slap someone very hard in the face, they must Save or gain a runic scar
- Musical Flesh - You ring like a bell when struck
- Unusual Nose - Grows 1 inch whenever you tell a lie
- Dark Halo - A triangle of vibrant black hovers over your head
- Geometric Shadow - Your shadow is a perfect rectangle
- Glowing Tongue - While yelling or screaming, your tongue glows as brightly as a lantern
- Mirror Face - Your face appears to be that of whoever you are talking to
- Wizard Voice - Mouth moves out of sync with speech, as if speaking a different language
- DOOMED - You will die in seven days. Until then, you are immune to Fear, Disease, Stun, broken bones, poison, unholy magic, taxation and instant death effects
- Clap your hands to take 1 damage and teleport 1ft
- Cross legs and close eyes to hover a few inches off the ground
- If you hold your breath, you weigh as much as a feather
- Pleasant, exotic, spicy smell. Can turn on and off at will
- Rain or snow will not fall on you
- You are invisible to cats
- Eyes Like Stars - You can cause your eyes to glow as bright as a torch. This renders you blind until you turn them off. Leaving them on for significant durations may damage your eyesight
- Everything is On Fire - If you suffer from an insanity, everything catches on fire
- Poison Breath - You can breath any toxin with impunity, but those sharing a confined space with you will eventually take d4 poison damage
- Heart Puppet - By squeezing the heart of something that died in the last minute, you can give it one more round of life
- Devouring Maw - Your jaw can stretch to impossible sizes
- One Thousand Lives, Once More - You've been reincarnated hundreds, if not thousands of times. Perhaps you'll find out why this time
- Changeling - You are a child of the fae, a doppelganger sent to take the place of a real child
- Really Good Dog - You are a dog. You can understand the words of your allies and anyone they are talking to, but if you are interacting with NPCs alone, you are pretty clueless
- Enchanted Blade - You are a magical weapon that can mentally dominate anyone you stab or are wielded by. You have +0 STR and DEX and half max HP until you spend a full day attuning to a new body
- Dead - You are undead. You don't need to eat, drink, breath, sleep. You'll start rotting soon, and you'll need to replace bits of your body, mind and soul
- Two Goblins in a Big Coat
Talent
- Improvise - Any item you weren't holding a second ago deals d10 damage, once per item
- Out of Line - Declare an ally “off-limits”, deal x2 damage to their attackers
- Rugged - Reroll a failed check by taking 1d6 damage, no limit
- Headtaker - Dealing 10 damage with an attack automatically removes a head of a creature
- Fashionable - Fancy clothes provide 1a
- Druidic Knack - Exceptionally good at predicting the weather (you'll probably just be asked what you think the weather will be tomorrow)
- Seventh Sense - If an enemy has an additional power or deadly attack, focus on them to learn of it's presence . You'll know its there, but no details
- Incredible Reflexes - Wearing a loincloth or equivalent and nothing else grants 1a
- At All Costs - You can survive the death of the rest of your companions, if possible. You lose everything else though. Works once
- Wall Crawler - You climb just as well without climbing gear as with it. If a climb would be trivial using gear, you don't need to roll, even if you're free-climbing. If a climb would be impossible using gear, you can roll anyway
- Mischief Maker - You can disarm, trip or pickpocket any enemy without a roll as an action. Only works once per enemy
- Party Rivalry - Choose another party member as your rival. Gain the exact opposite of one of their abilities. If they die, you lose this ability and are filled with a profound sense of loss
- At one with the Land - Pick or roll (d6): grassland, desert, mountains, forest, coastal, tundra. Each time you enter a new instance of that terrain, ask a question. It’ll either be answered, or you’ll know where to get the answer
- Double Jump
- Hoard Breaker - If you are dual-wielding and surrounded by enemies, you can make a single attack against every enemy
- Scrounge - If you dig through a pile of trash, you always gain a random item
- Quicksort - You instantly know how much of something is in a pile
- Angry - Always attack first if you immediately charge
- Bizarre - Instead of rolling a d20, you can flip a coin, heads critical success, tails critical failure. It never looks like skill
- Cowardly - Block the first attack while fleeing for your life
- Cruel - When you down an enemy, you can either kill them brutally or let them live in pain
- Curious - When you search, you can always find something hidden, good or bad
- Linkboy - Torches you hold last three times as long
- Desperate - Drop to 0 HP to automatically succeed on a check
- Fated - Once, ever, roll with a +10 bonus
- Light Finger, Heavy Blow - If you've stolen something from somebody and they don't know you have it, deal +d8 damage when you hit them with it
- Determined - After you stand up from prone, are disarmed, dropped to 0HP or are grappled, you can declare that you are getting serious. This may cause enemies to have second thoughts
- Flamboyant - While active you are always noticed first in a crowd
- Gallant - People you protect reroll failed saves
- Greedy - Know the exact value of anything you hold
- Confidence - Advantage to all rolls in a day until you fail one, give up on something or are thwarted
- Breaker - Make a disadvantaged Strength check against someone you are grappling to tear off a limb of their choice, this also breaks the grapple
- Helpful - Your friends can reroll a d20, once per person
- Innocent - Anything will hesitate to kill you, at least for a moment, if you ask them for it
- Knowledgeable - Learn a new rumour each session
- Armourer - You can resize armour to fit anyone, so long as you have the materials for it
- Weaponsmith - You can turn two broken weapons into a single working one, combining some of the traits in the process
- Locksmith - Once you’ve picked a lock at least once, you can repick it without a check, or with a check as single fluid motion
- Monstrous - Convert an insanity into a mutation over a rest
- Paranoia - Receive a warning before you do anything extremely dangerous. No details
- Pompous - Enemies that fail a morale check and would flee/rout (not retreat) instead grovel
- Righteous - Counts as a shield against anyone philosophically opposed to you
- Stalwart - The first time you would die in defence of another, you are instead healed to full
- Zealous - Your voice counts as a holy symbol
- Tactician - If you plan a battle and its still going to plan, everyone joining in can block 1d6 damage once
- Cleave - Make an extra attack when you down an enemy
- Pugilist - Make an extra attack per round while unarmed
- Montaya - Once, ever, say your catchphrase, full name etc. to your sworn enemy to heal to full and gain an extra attack for the rest of combat
- Metabolic Control - You can set your body to x2 as fast or x2 slower. Takes a full day to tick up or down. Eat, age, run and think at that speed
- Devastator - If you stun an enemy or knock them prone, make another attack
- Unseen Flurry - Make an extra attack if the enemy cannot see you
- Nightmare - You can always move faster than someone who is running away from you and fleeing for their life
- Sentinel - Make an free attack when an enemy retreats or moves past you
- Leader - Make an extra attack when you charge into battle
- Berserker - Make an extra attack per round while you are frothing with rage
- Veteran - Make an extra attack per round while in formation
- Wolfpack - When you have an enemy surrounded, anyone in the group can make a free attack each round
- Lawbringer - For every real crime you know the target has committed, you can make a free attack or grapple check against them, one per turn
- Mage Slayer - Make an attack immediately against an enemy in melee range that casts a spell
- Omnilingual at Insults - You can swear, curse and blasphemise in every known language
- Drunken Master - After taking a swig of strong alcohol as an action, the next attack against you automatically misses and hits a random nearby target
- David - Deal +1d6 damage with one-handed weapons to any large target that is on the ground, surprised, blinded etc.
- Duelist - So long as you fight with one weapon and a hand free, you can make a gambit when you are attacked
- Rabid - Your bite deals d6 damage and freaks everyone out
- Wind Stance - Immune to ranged attacks if you are unarmed, unarmored and prepared for them
- Alchemikludge - You can kludge a potion into three doses with half effectiveness each, reverse a potions effect, distil alcohol, make soap, turn gold into lead, grind lenses, and turn fire into any colour of the rainbow
- Architectish - You can make accurate mental maps and sketch them perfectly. You know the general plan of any building you see, as well as which walls are load-bearing, and where the designer may have hidden secrets
- Astrologonomy - You can make a prediction about the future overnight instead of sleeping. It always comes true, but it may be in a strange form, a dream, a message or applying to the wrong person. Also, you always know when the next major astronomical event is happening (the first time you use this, you can declare when it'll be)
- Mathematika - You can perform advanced algebra in your head, predict the flight paths of objects with perfect accuracy, accurately eyeball measurements, and judge the amount of strength (and length of lever) you would need to lift any object
- Etiquetteful - You know how to compose yourself and seem like you belong, no matter the social scene. You know the name of everyone who is anyone
- Orators Lungs - You can get and hold a crowd's attention for as long as you're speaking. Your voice carries over distances of up to a mile. If you shout, you can distract people in earshot
- Muse - Your artwork, whatever form it takes, can evoke a powerful emotion of your choice in those that experience it. This is exceptionally powerful if you are inspired by an event or location of great beauty or terror
- Engineerable - You can make ball bearings, springs, gears, lever-actions, winches and sundry other mechanical components from scratch. You can also turn a lot of ore into a small amount of pure, workable metal
- Conjure "Useful" Items - You always have a piece of string, a stub of chalk, a smooth pebble and a worthless coin in your pocket. You don't actually create or summon these items, only absent-mindedly collect them and somehow always have just enough for your needs
- Old Faithful - You always, no matter what, have a small dagger on your person
- Crossed the Deserts Bare - You can go three times as long without food or water as a normal person
- Breathed the Mountain Air - You can tell at a glance if a route is impossible
- Travelled Every Road in This Here Land - Once, ever, you and your companions can visit The Crossroads, which lead to any road reachable
- Brute - Advantage to STR checks, but either you, an ally or a held item takes d4 damage for each failed roll
- Locus of Mass - Advantage to STR saves with your hands pressed together
- Ritual - Advantage to DEX checks so long as you have time and something to calm yourself down, incense, an amulet etc.
- Nimble - Advantage to DEX saves while unarmoured and with both hands free
- Demagogue - Advantage to CHA checks if you are unarmed and relaxed (not running away)
- Protagonist - Advantage to CHA saves if you suffer them while protecting an NPC
- Glass Jaw - Take an additional d6 damage from all sources, deal an extra d8
- On The Shoulders of Giants - Defeating an enemy more powerful than you, whether in combat, in sport or other more esoteric fields, grants you one expendable use of their abilities
- Assassinate - You can wield positioning and timing like a weapon, dealing d8 damage with nothing but your hands and nearby objects
- Hypnotic Voice - If you are making eye contact with someone, you can make them repeat a sentence you say
- Martial Arts - Your unarmed attacks deal 1d6 damage, you don't suffer penalties from attacking armed targets
- The Fool - When you are in serious danger, declare that you are hoping for the best. You (and possibly your friends) will be removed from the situation in an unlikely piece of luck. However, you can't use this ability again until either you suffer an incredibly bad turn of luck, or mess up a plan (un)intentionally
- Unkillable - When you are slain, you rise again. You will die for good in five rounds, but not until then
- Chirurgeon - You can amputate and cauterise a wound as an action each, pull teeth with a hammer, and sterilise with vodka. It's brutal, but it works
- Bad with Maths - When you use up the last of a consumable resource, there's a 50% chance you had one left. If not, or once used, can't be checked again until you restock fully
- Knight - Gain heavy armour (2a), a knightly weapon (d8), and a horse (6hp). Are all of them yours?
- Indomitable - You can "sunder" a limb to block 1d12 damage
- Juryrigger - Spend a day replicating or overclocking a magic item, one use
- Nose for Trouble - You can always tell which direction has the most danger
- Perspective - Once per turn, make yourself the most or least noticeable member of the party
- Infiltrate - Walk offstage, declare you are a member of the NPCs present at any time
- Supreme Focus - Before beginning a task, you can set any number of conditions. Beyond being knocked unconscious or killed, nothing but those conditions will halt your trance-like progress
- Ludicrous Strike - When you disarm someone, remove a limb, or kill via decapitation, you can make a ranged attack at a nearby enemy using the lost object
- Judge of Character - By spending a few minutes in idle conversation with someone or engage in single combat, you can ask one question about them starting with “Why”
- Giddy-up - You can "speak" with any horse you are riding, so long as it likes you
- Titanic Grip - You can hold two-handed weapons and objects in one hand
- Snapshot Vision - Looking at a scene for less than a second, you can "store" it and review it later at your leisure. Can only store one moment at a time
- Stern Glare - 1d4 non-lethal, doesn't appear to be an attack
- Tiger Claw - If you extend two fingers, they are as sharp as a dagger and deal d6 damage
- Spear Kick - If you have space for a run-up, you can make a flying kick in a straight line in any direction. Deals d8 damage, knocks you prone
- Empty Palm - A free hand counts as a shield. "Sundering" doesn't destroy your hand, but you will have to return to a monastery and meditate for a while to recover it
- Bannerlord - If you are holding a banner, an ally that has sworn an oath to it can make an additional attack in a round
- Dramatic Entrance - At any point, you may exit the current scene. Later, you can reveal yourself to have been a background character, disguised as a bush, or swing in through an open space. Must spend at least that round announcing your return in a suitable manner
- Feat of Strength - Take d6 damage and add it to a Strength check you make, as many times as you want
- Hands Like Bloodied Meat-Hooks - Your hands deal d6 damage. You can choose to increase this to d8, but once you do so, you can never craft objects or use tools again
- I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET - By beating the shit out of someone or something that would've been killed last round, you can bring them back to gasping, helpless life for another minute
- Elemental Fist - Your unarmed attacks can deal damage of any element you choose, so long as you have a sample of it nearby. Deals d4 damage
- A Taste of Home - You can eat/swig the unique ration you've brought with you to heal to full HP
- Stand Tall - While protecting someone who needs your help, they gain 1a
- Funambulism - So long as you have both hands free, you can jump twice as far. If there is a stable wall to run on, you can move twice as far again
- Vengeance - If someone kills someone you care about, or destroys something you cherish, you deal x2 damage to them forever
- It Belongs in a Church! - Every time you return a valuable holy relic to the church where it belongs, gain a minor boon relating to that relic
- Last Stand - Take 1d6 permanent HP damage in order to heal to full
- Mantra of Pree Aesma - So long as you are carrying no weapons, your unarmed attacks deal d6 damage. You can take 1 damage to make an extra unarmed attack, as many times as you want
- Principle of Cutting - No matter how damaged the weapon you are carrying may be, you can still use it perfectly and to its full extent
- Unquenchable Will - At any point, you can declare an action you will not take, like dropping your sword, moving aside, or falling over. After that, so long as you are conscious, it’ll never happen. Only one declaration at a time
- Monster Slayer - Track the biggest, most dangerous creature you have killed. Against anything smaller or weaker, you have 1a
- Mentor - Three events have to occur to use this ability: 1. Another character you have fought side by side with, dies. 2. Meet a new ally that has heard of the first. 3. You take the new ally as your protege and they proves themselves to be worthy. Afterwards, your new protege learns one ability your dead companion had
- Spot Opportunity - Each round, a random ally gains an extra attack against a random enemy
- Cannon - Deals 1d20 damage to a crowd, a structure, a stationary or large target. Takes ages to load, needs at least three people to transport. Start with enough powder for five shots. Misfire if you roll a 13
Arcana
- Speak with (d4): 1. Fire, 2. Water, 3. Earth, 4. Air
- Speak with (d6): 1. Metal, 2. Lightning, 3. Ice, 4. Acid, 5. Dead, 6. Plants
- Speak with (d12): 1. Locks, 2. Shoes, 3. Blood, 4. Roads, 5. Potion, 6. God, 7. Stars, 8. Darkness, 9. Birds, 10. Dreams, 11. Lies, 12. Dave
- Detect (d6): 1. Illusion, 2. Invisible, 3. Observer, 4. Sin, 5. Water, 6. Fear
- Detect (d12): 1. Alcohol, 2. Birds, 3. Magnets, 4. Dave, 5. Drugs, 6. Polearms, 7. Clocks, 8. Paper, 9. Numbers, 10. Goblins, 11. Absence, 12. Garbage
- Word of Power (d6): 1. BREAK, 2. GROVEL, 3. CEASE, 4. FALL, 5. SILENCE, 6. RUN. Anyone who hears you pronounce it must incorporate it in their next action, somehow
- Word of Power (d20): 1. DANCE, 2. LIE, 3. YELL, 4. THROW, 5. LIVE, 6. TURN, 7. SPIN, 8. SLEEP, 9. LIVE, 10. BURN, 11. THINK, 12. SPEND, 13. SING, 14. LEAVE, 15. REMEMBER, 16. EAT, 17. PULL, 18. STRUGGLE, 19. HOLD, 20. IGNORE. Anyone who hears you pronounce it must incorporate it in their next action, somehow
- Rune of (d8): 1. Fire, 2. Water, 3. Earth, 4. Air, 5. Lightning, 6. Acid, 7. Death, 8. Life. Affix to a weapon or source of power to create an elemental alignment
- Rune of (d8): 1. Explosion (d10), 2. Locomotion, 3. Barrier, 4. Pain (d6 area), 5. Teleportation, 6. Magic (casts attached scroll or wand), 7. Summoning, 8. Dispelling. Requires magical fuel to recharge
- [blank] Wizard - You can enchant and control your domain (1d8): 1. Spider, 2. Silk, 3. Skull, 4. Drug, 5. Soul, 6. Gem, 7. Sword, 8. Gun. Once a spell has been cast on an item, it can't be used for magic again. Start with three uses
- Acid Arrow - 1d4 acid damage to target in you can see, ongoing until washed off or 4 is rolled
- Shocking Grasp - deal d10 lightning damage to held target, take d4
- Firesnap - Create a small flame at will (d4), easily ignites flammable material (d6 ongoing)
- Judgement - d6 radiant damage by lambasting someone for their sins
- Dread Curse - d6 necrotic damage to a target who believes they will soon come to harm
- Horrifying Thoughts - d4 psychic damage to everyone you communicate the thoughts to
- Glacial Heart - d6 cold damage to anything you hold and breath upon
- Magic Knucklebones - Implanted in the hand of your choice, deal d6 fire+poison damage, or d12 while holding a face. Only effects living creatures
- Resonant Link - By heating up or cooling an object, you can cause a very similar or identical object to change the same way
- Mage Hand - Manipulate anything up to 20ft away. If a roll is needed, use CHA
- Illusory Double - They can match you step for step, splitting apart on your signal. Die in a single strike, you'll need to hold a proper funeral for them to come back
- Alter Self - So long as you keep all your muscles tensed (no attacks or taking damage) you can change your appearance to match that of someone else
- Telepathy - You can speak into the mind of anyone you can see, they can reply if they make eye-contact with you
- Shapeshifter - If you wrestle an animal the the ground and eat it, you can transform into it. Works once per animal
- Wards of the Mind, Body and Soul - If you would suffer from a disease, curse or insanity, you can choose which of the three you would suffer from
- Rope of Repairing - When you whistle, this rope will bind itself back together, so long as it hasn't been burnt or melted
- Skim Thoughts - You can read the strong surface thoughts and emotions of those around you while concentrating
- Binder - Say the true name of a spiritual or undead being to give it a command. If it refuses, it takes 1d20 damage. Works once per creature
- Magic Shield - Block one attack as an action, so long as you can see the attack coming
- Enthrall - Stare into the eyes of someone whose name you know, and give them a command, optionally with a condition. They will perform it, in a daze. If made to hurt themselves or someone, they will snap out at the last moment
- Hex - Cause bad things to happen to a superstitious target by describing them happen in gruesome detail
- Wizard Vision - At a thought, you can detect if something is an illusion, invisible, shape-shifted, or a spellcaster. The price is either your sanity, as you reject the etheropelagic visions, or your soul as your are alienated from normal lifeforms
- Dowsing - If you hold half of something, it will tug towards the other half
- Spirit Confession - Touch someone to learn if they have killed another sentient creature in the last 24 hours
- Soul of Iron - Take 1d8 damage to reroll a save against a spell, demonic attack, or soul-altering effect. You can take the damage as many times as you like, wounds you take appear as stigmata or premature ageing
- Sacrosanct - Take d12 damage in place of a mutation, disease, disfiguring injury or anything that would alter your body against your will
- War-Form - You can transform at-will into a bestial oily monster with your face. +6 HP, d8, 2a. Transforming back is complicated at best
- Eternal Elemental Student - After you suffer a Scar from a source of elemental damage, you can learn to speak and eventually channel that element
- Seven-League-Boots - Sends you careening across the countryside with every step. Tripping deals d10 damage
- Rod of 77 Parts - One single piece. Tugs towards other parts if they are anywhere nearby, as well as (d4): 1. Deals +d4 necrotic damage, 2. Allows you to walk on water for three steps, 3. Make eye-contact to bind both the target and yourself in place, 4. Jump vertically great heights. Additional parts of the rod increase the effectiveness of all powers
- Bag of Holding - The size of a warehouse inside
- Ring of Organic Invisibility - Does not apply to equipment or clothing
- Alter Ego - Create a dissimilar persona, you can transform into them or back as an action
- Monocle of Entropy - If you stare at something long enough, it will fall over. 1 round for a candlestick, 1 minute for a sleeping cow, 1 hour for a small tree, 1 day for a cottage or large tree, 1 week for a castle. Must be within 100ft
- Witch-Thumb - Any seeds you plant grow to full adulthood and beyond within seconds and die within the hour. Nearby ground is rendered barren and no new seeds are produced
- Girdle of Gender-Change
- Orb of Binding - If you bonk it on the head of a heavily injured (but not dead) enemy, they might be trapped within the orb. Henceforth, you can summon them out of the orb as an action to fight for you. If they die, the orb cannot be used again
- Heavenbound Messenger - As part of an honest funeral, you can include a message or request do the gods of death with the body of the deceased. It'll reach them, eventually, but you best be respectful
- Goblin Horn - Blow to summon 1d6 goblins
- Runestones - Ask 1d6 yes/no questions of the stones, on a 6 something else comes to find you and answer
- Skindancer - By touching bare skin, you can transfer your soul into a new living body. Must be humanoid. The previous body feels as though not a moment has passed
- Fractal Conch Shell - Holds fifty litres of any liquid, fits in the hand
- Immovable Rod - Latches onto nearest planetary magnetic field when you press the button, detaches when you press it again. Quite strong, but not indestructible
- Crowbar of Reliability. Immune to bending, magic, acid, fire and most other things. Will abandon owners that use it in combat
- Fey Fletcher - Carving a targets name into an arrow will make it hit unerringly (max damage)
- Impossible Disguise - You can craft disguises so perfect that even you are fooled by wearing them. Specific people require elements from their life to make. Save or take on aspects of their personality each day you wear it
- Shadow Arts - Taking an action to centre yourself (lasts until combat ends), and an action to leave your shadow behind, you can return to your shadow at any point in the next minute no matter where you are
- Exploding Blasphemy Skulls - You can turn decapitated heads into improvised explosive devices
- Void Soul - You are immune to magic. You can't see, touch, use or interact in any way with spells, scrolls, wand, some potions
- The Last Job - Enchanted skull of a dead thief and a personal trinket from when they were alive. Trinket becomes hot if anything living is seen by the skull
- Gregor's Boots - Flashy red boots with ink-stained laces. If you jump at the exact moment a spell is cast at you, you will be flung away from the effect
- Partho's Diminutive Spear - Black-iron rod, 2ft long. Hidden catch extends it to a full-length spear, or compress back into rod form
- Chalk of the Pact-Maker - Nothing even remotely magical can cross a line drawn of this chalk
- Horrid Mask - Anyone wearing the mask cannot help but follow any command given, and will continue to perform it even if killed
- Limited Wish - Beware the recoil of powerful wishes. One use
- Flaming Blade - You can ignite any bladed weapon you hold, damages the weapon rapidly unless it is made of exotic metals
- Scabbard of Returning - A linked weapon you throw or drop can be summoned back to it
- Crow Feast - If you prepare a corpse, crows will come and tell you news
- Ironic Curse - Through the use of a sympathetic link with the target, either prevent them from repeating an action they just took, or force them to repeatedly take it
- Lantern of Revelation - Burns with blue flames that point the way to secrets
- Un-Eyepatch - Allows wearer to project their vision up to 30ft away
- Grim Harvest - The round after an enemy dies, you can spend an action to harvest their soul. You can only hold one soul at a time, and use it as a ranged attack equivalent to their damage. You'll likely find other uses for harvested souls
- Wand of Enchantment - Holly and amber. Animates furniture, can't command it, but some might be friendly anyway
- Wand of Recovery - Hazel and ruby. Restores function to a limb or body-part, but only while continuously applied
- Wand of Purification - Bone and amethyst. Cleans one target, and causes a different clean target to become equally filthy
- Wand of Truth - Silver and oak. Causes forgeries and liars to glow
- Wand of Binding - Gold and onyx. Locks one thing together while focused upon, a joint, a lock, a lever, a knot
- Wand of Transmutation - Copper and flint. Turns (1d10) into (1d10): 1. Stone, 2. Mud, 3. Fire, 4. Flesh, 5. Metal, 6. Wood, 7. Slime, 8. Light, 9. Water, 10. Pain. Either slow, temporary, or must be recharged afterwards
- Wand of Illusion - Tin and paper. Allows you to draw illusions into being. Last until touched. If you want it to move, must recharge afterwards
- Wand of Insanity - Bronze and ivory. Target suffers a particular madness while pointed at them (d6): 1. Desperate to impress dance partner, 2. On fire, 3. Is a spider, 4. Floor is snakes, 5. Gravity swapped, 6. They are king, you are putting on a play for them. You can choose or invent a madness of your own, but requires charging afterwards
- Wand of Ventriloquism - Elm and emerald. Your voices comes from wherever it is pointing
- Wand of Magnetism - Yew and steel. Small button near the base that determines whether it pushes or pulls iron objects. No stronger than a man
- Wand of Zapping - Pine and sapphire. 1d6 lightning+force damage, very fast, if a 6 is rolled deals 1d4 damage until recharged
- Wand of Blasting - Onyx and iron. Knocks over a target that isn't braced for it
- Wand of Hellfire - Obsidian and bone. Ignites any target if continuously applied, one round for smoke, two rounds for flames. Can let the spirit inside loose, but you'l have to trap it again to use the wand
- Wand of Linking - Glass and marble. What happens to one marked target happens to the second
- Wand of Pain - Lead and stone. Inflicts incredible pain at close ranges, moderate agony otherwise
- Wand of Inversion - Balsa wood with a ruby tip. Explosions and fires instead freeze, loud noises muffle all sound, curses become blessings. Must be used at the exact same moment
- Wand of Treasure - Jade and glass. Tap an untouched chest with it to double the loot inside. However, if the chest is trapped you take double damage and it is automatically sprung
- Astral Projectionist - When you sleep and dream of a location, you can see what is truly there. Beware, for your body is uninhabited for the duration…
- Windup Golem - Knee high. Requires considerable force to wind the mainspring. Can follow up to 10 words of instructions. If the spring is broken, deals 1d20 damage to everything in a line
- Bottled Elemental - Random type, requires a suitable quantity of its material to survive outside the bottle
- Locked Grimoire - Contains 2d6 bizarre spells, breaking the lock deals d12 damage and inflicts a curse
- Runeblade - Can parry spells, reduce damage taken by d6. If damage matches exactly, reflect the spell instead
- Crown of Command - Power over (d4): ice, dust, metal, slime. Take 1 damage each time you use it, 2 for major efforts
- Scryball - Flapping eyeball, fuelled by brain fluid. Anything it sees is reflected in a matched crystal ball
- Cryptogrammer - Send an eight-letter message to anyone you see fit. Messages can be sent to specific people, types of people, in an area etc. They'll always know it came from you, and it might take a while to get to them
- Wooden Mask - Binds when worn, user always sees out of the mask eyes instead of their own
- Ancestral Skullservant - When blessed with holy water at midnight, the willing spirit of one's ancestor may descend and possess the skull. They will have all knowledge they had in life and most of their personality
- Magnificent Folding Bed - A simple bedroll that unfolds into a comfortable four-poster bed. Anyone in the bed when it is refolded is dropped into a small pocket dimension filled with clean linens and forgotten clothing
- Shatter Cubes, 3 - Fragile glass cubes. When broken, anything they are in contact with shatters like glass as well
- Chime of Unlocking - 1-in-12 chance of breaking, otherwise opens any mundane lock with a loud ring. 1-in-6 chance of breaking on a magical lock
- Graven Visage - If you carve a face into wood, you can see and hear through it. Can't make a new one until the old is destroyed
- Flight - You can't carry anyone else or anything heavy, but you can definitely probably manage wobbly flight
- Mask of the Demiurge - While worn, sprout a glowing mandala of eyes and two extra arms. Only time will tell if this is an artefact of angels or demons or otherwise
- Doom Treader - By spending some time meditating, you can view your own corpse from an alternate reality that died from something reasonably likely and nearby
- Portal Rings - Anything passing through the red ring emerges from the blue ring at the same speed, and vice versa
- Knife-Blink - If thrown and max damage is rolled, the thrower is teleported to the target and is holding the dagger again
- Hell-Slave - Invisible murder machine, can't go further away than eyeshot, d10 fire+slashing damage. If you die and have used it even once, it'll take your corpse on a joyride
- Origamist - Animals you fold out of paper come to life
- Murder Nail - A tiny d4 spike. If used to kill someone, increases to d6 and so-forth. Once used to kill someone as a massive blade (d12), shatters into scrap metal and a tiny d4 spike
- Bronze Lamp - The spirit inside can't grant wishes, but it is strong, has vague magical powers and can't leave the lamp without permission
- Fireball - Begin charging as an action. If you are struck before releasing it, it explodes in your face. Throw as another action, dealing d12 fire area. If you roll 10+ then whatever used to cast with is lit on fire as well
- Conjure Lightning - Once per real storm, direct where a lightning bolt will go
- Psychic Awakening - Your latent telekinesis is as strong, as precise and as dangerous as a drunk giant. d12 damage if used directly, control your temper
- Timeglass - This spyglass shows what something looked like ten years ago
- Candle of Fate - Place a hair as the wick. As the candle burns, the owner of the hair will age preternaturally fast, dying as the candle burns out. This candle can burn for "100 years" of lifetime, taking about an hour total
- Silver Coin - Contains a fallen angel. Will offer you knowledge, and perhaps power. Don't accept
- Destined - You cannot be killed be any man
- Secret Name: Shaimok - When you fire any handheld ranged weapon, it does not obey gravity, travelling in a straight line until it hits a target. If you tell someone the word, you will transfer this ability to them. If you die, Shaimok remains with your corpse
- Secret Name: Phacops - At any moment, you can choose to die. Your body rots into dust immediately. The next morning, you will be reborn from the dirt beneath the location where you last awakened from sleep. The word remains in your old skull, and must be retrieved. If you tell someone the word, you will transfer this ability to them
- Secret Name: Deiphon - You can walk on water. The bottoms of your feet still get wet. If you tell someone the word, you will transfer this ability to them. If you die, Deiphon remains with your corpse
- Secret Name: Destra - You can learn what magic someone knows by looking in their eye. If you tell someone the word, you will transfer this ability to them. If you die, Destra remains with your corpse
- Secret Name: Zhuul - You cannot be harmed by acid so long as you are praying loudly and continuously. If you tell someone the word, you will transfer this ability to them. If you die, Zhuul remains with your corpse
- Secret Name: Amkala - If you sit in someone's warm spot, people will believe you to be that person. Lasts until you stand up. If you tell someone the word, you will transfer this ability to them. If you die, Amkala remains with your corpse
- Poor impulse control, but you can take back any action. 50% chance of success, creates an alternate universe each time
- Divination - Disembowel a creature, watch the skies, consult symbolic rituals etc. and ask one question of the past or future. The more specific the question, the more vague the answer
- Skulking Familiar - It lurks around you, nearby but never close. It leaves gifts and messages. It'll teach you secrets, if you can handle them
- Wise Familiar - It sits on your shoulder or in your bag. It knows much, much more than it lets on. It can grant favours
- Useless Familiar - It flops around like a dying fish. If its killed, it'll return the next day
- Wandering Familiar - It travels far, seeing all and remember everything. You might not see it for several days at a stretch, but it will be back
- Hand of Vecna - Replaces your own, allows you to touch and hold magical spells, strong and never tires. Overusing the Hand has a 5% chance of allowing Vecna to consume your soul and possess your body
- Eye of Vecna - Replaces your own, allows you to see magic and through some materials. Overusing the Eye has a 5% chance of allowing Vecna to consume your soul and possess your body
- Vorpal Sword - Deals 1d8 damage, if you roll an 8 then roll again and add. Snicker snack
- Gauntlets of Ogre Strength - Grants the might of an ogre, as well as the hunger
- Dead Ringer - You can turn a drop of blood, strand of hair and a mound of clay into a temporary but exact corpse
- The Rat King's Crown - A crown of lumpy gold and long, sharp incisors. Whoever wears it is recognised as the king of rats. They can speak with rats, but might not be obeyed unless they behave appropriately and are attempting to restore the rat kingdom
- Charmed Life - When you wake up and say "today is my lucky day", it begins. You succeed every check you attempt, take minimum damage from all attacks, and will generally be incredibly lucky, to the incredible detriment of everyone around you. Works once
- The Sword of Exorcism - Deals 1d4 magic damage while sheathed. You can only draw it against a single incorporeal target once you know its form of manifestation, the truth of how did it come to be, and the reason why it remains among the living. Once you know all three, and draw the sword, deal 1d20 to the target
- The Bells of Exorcism - Sleeper, Waker, Walker, Speaker, Thinker, Binder, Weeper. Lose 1 HP to ring multiple bells, if distracted while ringing or if attempting long-term effects. "Weeper" kills everything that hears it, including you
- Surgeon-Priest's Blade - Body parts removed come to life
- Necrosceptre - A ritually prepared corpse can be commanded to rise and will obey simple commands. If you drop the sceptre, every raised undead will swarm you. If killed for any reason, all undead will devour your corpse before attacking the living
- Staff of False Magi - Conjure fireballs, ice-storms, showers of brimstone. 95% illusory, only deal 1d6 damage, or 1 if the target has seen that kind of attack before
- Staff of the Ravenous Sun - Consumes liquids of any potency, whether potions or blood, and converts it into gouts of flame (d6 area)
- Powerstaff - Allows the wielder to summon walls of force and control invisible blades (d6 area). If you use it without having your feet planted firmly, take d12 force damage, if you are struck at all you take +d8 damage
- Tome of Healing - Replace an injury, curse or disease with (1d6): 1. Injury, 2. Curse, 3. Disease, 4. Quest, 5. Herbal remedy, 6. Spiritual requirement. Lapsing on option 4-6 causes the original malady to return. Takes an hour, you'll know what the cost is before committing
- Tome of Trickery - Write something in the book of the form "If [name] does [action] then [effect] will occur" or similar. If they die for any reason following the effect, the book has a 1-in-6 chance of losing all powers. If they die directly from the effect, 5-in-6. Must be their true name, must not be something they are doing all the time, must occur with you nearby
- Tome of Madness - Each insanity you gain allows you to access a new spell
- Tome of Life - A stolen book of the dead. Mundane weapons cannot harm you, but you take x3 damage from spells, angels and demons. They can smell your theft
- Third Eye - Restricting or removing one of your senses bolsters one other, boosting a sense twice allows for magical effectiveness
- "Tame" Imp - Invisible and a fan of showmanship, will move things, lift things, find things or burn things so long as you wear a fancy robe and proclaim your magical prowess
- Disciple of the Desecrator - Feed your foul censer with flowers, herbs and butterflies to make it spew toxic gas
- Star Whisperer - You can commune with the night sky to have a question answers. It might not be your question, just a random one
- Demonic Pact - If you perform the favours requested of you, you can have your requests granted. Your patron might follow you around, if you are interesting
- Devil Pact - If you bring sinners to justice, you can clear crimes of your own, whether mortal or spiritual. You don't take damage from fire, but it is just as painful as ever
- Faerie Pact - In return for beautiful things, you become more beautiful. Beauty takes many forms. Perhaps you will as well
- Abominable Pact - You can ask the DM any question you like, but each question confers a random insanity. Communicating your knowledge is incredibly hard, acting upon it is easier than breathing
- Servant of the Ancient King - Those who you officially outrank will always obey your commands, but you must do the same for your superiors. You can break a finger of someone who you control socially with a glance
- Stormcaller - You know the name of a local wind. Flying is is easy, landing is hard
- Hammer of the Gods - You can mould metal like clay, so long as you never refuse an honest request for assistance
- Psychometry - Touch an item to ask one yes/no question about it, works once per item, or again if you spend an hour/day/week meditating over it
- Hexblade - You innately know what ritual will be required to turn a bladed weapon into a magical artefact, if at all possible. You can speak with a blade, but only while it is bathed in blood
- Lantern-Mace - Bludgeoning+fire damage. Burns eternally while you stand and fight, can also hit ghosts etc. while lit
- Blade of Truth - If you have asked the target a question, this weapon only deals 1 damage if they answer truthfully. Deals double damage against traitors
- Thunder Hammer - Strike a piece of metal to damage it and create a loud thunderclap. If you use it to propel a piece of metal, the thunderclap comes from where it lands
- Axe of Cleaving - If you kill an enemy, you can and must make an extra attack
- Longsword of Attacking Twice in a Round
- Dagger of Sneak Attack - If multiple dice apply to your attack, add them together
- Helmet of Lasers - Requires both hands and a head to operate, deals d8 fire damage somewhere you can directly see. Overuse can cook your brain
- Holy Avenger - Deals radiant damage. If used to kill a fiend or undead, they burn to ash and salt, and the sword glows with a pure white light
- Dancing Sword - Can be set loose on an enemy or group of enemies and will attack each round. Difficult to re-capture unless it has killed at least once
- Folding Boat - Small wooden box that folds out to a large rowboat, sail not included. Folding it back up is inordinately difficult
- Lightbow - Doesn't require arrows, shoots a beam of light in a straight line
- Divine Intervention - Pray at a shrine or make a respectable sacrifice to block the next instance of [damage type] taken. Pray for a particular type, or rely on the grace of god. Your allies can also participate, but must uphold the principles of your deity
- Divine Quest - If you complete it, you and all your allies gain d6 max HP. It's near impossible, but you've got a shot at (d4): 1. Finding a long-last artefact, 2. Ending a crusade, 3. Freeing your people, 4. Making peace with The Immortal Beast
- Divine Dregs - The last fragments of a godly power. Grants quiet, faded miracles. CHA check to have prayers fulfilled (rolled in secret), on a critical failure it is burned out forever
- Guardian Angel - So long as all party members involved worship the same deity as you, one can save the other from death by praying over them, wailing etc. If they are already dead, dropping to 0 HP can grant them a last gasp and 1 HP
- Smite - So long as you are bold, honourable and offer them mercy, your attacks deal +d8 radiant to sinners
- Born under a Fateful Star - The first magic item you find is especially attuned to you and comes with a quest attached
- Runic Flesh - You can scribe a scroll directly into your flesh. The process drops you to 0 HP and grants you a related magical ability. Every additional scroll drains 1 max HP, or 1d4 max HP for major spells
- Overchannel - Lose half your HP to double the effect of a spell or magic item
- Curse of the Wanderer - Anyone who Scars you takes 1d20 damage. If you stay in a house or settlement, then all crops and herds nearby will be gradually blighted
- Arcane "Researcher" - After you cause a magical disaster, next spell you cast has double effect
- Scroll Master - Scrolls you use have a 1-in-6 chance of being retained. This chance goes up by 1 if you are: wearing a pointy hat, wearing a cumbersome robe, wielding a staff or wand, in a runic circle, guided by another wizard
- Sympathetic Magic - If you touch someone, you can form a link with them, allowing you to cast spells as if you were still touching them. One link at a time. You can't use this ability if you eat meat
- Timber Visage - If you carve your face into a piece of wood, you can shut off your other senses and transfer them to the wooden version. Cannot create a new one until the first is completely destroyed, and cannot use it if you have been insulted and not taken vengeance
- Embrace the Flame - Take 1 damage to light something you can see on fire. If you use this on a person, you also catch alight
- Shadow Knight - Send your shadow on errands, you have half hp until it gets back. Cannot use this ability in bright light or pitch darkness
- Fleshcrafter - Brew up a potion using parts from three different monsters. Random effect, but after that you’ve learned a recipe. Your potions don’t respond well to magical healing
- War Wizard - Deal up to d10 damage with your chosen type. At the end of combat, suffer the highest damage die you used
- Truenamer - Collect 15 letter tiles. If you arrange them into a word or short phrase, the universe will bend to make it come true, if only barely. You can change any number of letters at dawn. Reusing the same word allows angels to track you
- Nearly Unlimited Power - Drop to 0 HP to gain a d12 lightning attack. Lasts until you stop firing
- Knock-Knock Axe - Very loudly explodes wooden doors when you say "knock knock"
- Spear of Heaven - Deals lightning+slashing damage, ignores metal armour, can be thrown directly upwards to land as a lightning bolt next round, dealing 1d20 damage and being destroyed
- Negaton Mace - Extremely heavy, twist the base to start a timer, causes an implosion and an earthquake upon detonation
- Golemist - You can grant life to sculptures you create. They last for however long you spent working on them, though it's difficult spending more than a minute working on common clay or rock
- Deck of Many Things - Hearts for enhancement and magic, Diamonds for wealth and knowledge, Spades for mishaps and combat, Clubs for disaster and death. Jokers grant wishes, but the black Joker kills you
- Conjurer of Cheap Tricks - You control three invisible spirits. One is a blob with two legs, one is a blob with one arm, and one is a blob with three eyes and a gaping mouth. You can use a blood sacrifice to summon them to your side if they get left behind. Magical reagents might improve their capability
- Sorcerer - Reality bends to your desire. Your wishes towards things you can perceive are granted while you focus on them. Simple and subtle effects have a 1-in-100 of causing you to explode. Most "spell-like" effects have a 1-in-20 chance. If the wish is truly ridiculous, large or permanent, this increases to 1-in-6. Exploding drops you to 0HP, deals 1d20 damage to everything near you, destroys 1d4 limbs and removes this ability
Curse
- Hollow Guts - Tripled food requirements
- Screaming Teeth - Yell at inopportune times, blurts out secrets
- Unlucky - Disadvantage on loot/luck CHA checks
- Dog Hatred - All dogs will attack you
- Spirit Home - A small eldritch creature lives in your skull/teeth
- Purse Moths - Save or lose half of your money when you enter a settlement
- Fragile - Double bludgeoning damage
- Mute
- Delicate Sensibilities - Take 1 damage if you hear, say, or think a swear-word
- Desolation - Double damage while alone and away from allies
- Cursed to Die in a Fire - Double damage from fire
- The Clawing Stone - Double all falling damage
- Weak Blood - Automatically fail the first save against poison
- Into the Depths - Unable to swim
- Blinded
- Deafened
- The Betrayed - Triple damage from any ally
- Latent Vampirism - Take d8 damage unless you cringe and flee from sunlight and holy symbols
- Crippled - One arm is useless
- Lame - One leg is useless
- Rabbit Instincts - When your life is in danger you will always run
- Magnetic Soul - All spells that travel within 20ft of you change their target
- Endless Thirst - Water, ale, beer and wine all do nothing for you
- Slip of the Tongue, anything you think of saying is written on your skin
- Evil Twin - Manifests far away, knows where you are
- The Horseman Cometh - Immediately contract three diseases
- Unique Diet - Violently ill otherwise, (d4): 1. Vegetarian, 2. Carnivore, 3. Heavily spiced, 4. Cannibal
- The Chosen - If something would randomly apply to someone in a group, it happens to you
- Turn into a frog
- Curse of Apocalypse - You are fated to cause a major disaster. Omens precede you, and everybody knows it
- Take d20 damage from needles
- Professor's Bane - Rendered mute if someone asks you for advice
- Nervous Wreck - Disadvantage against madness, double psychic damage
- Performance Anxiety - Fingers go numb while being watched
- Forbidden Name - If you hear, read or speak your own name, suffer 1d10 of a random damage type
- Wandering Dreams - You always wake up somewhere strange nearby
- Dreadful Posture - Your head and arm swap positions
- Animal Head - 1d6: 1. Donkey, 2. Shark, 3. Chicken, 4. Lizard, 5. Ant, 6. Moose
- Demon Mark - Reek of brimstone and sin, attracts the attention of devils and clergy alike
- Allergy - Take d6 damage and get a severe rash if you touch (d6): 1. Water, 2. Money, 3. Grass, 4. Steel, 5. Magic, 6. Glass
- Stolen Youth - Age 2d20 years
- Curse of Sadim - Any gold you touch turns to clay
- Snake Arm
- Inverted Face - Eyes become two mouths. Mouth becomes one large eye
- Ghost Flesh - In sunlight, appear as a rotting corpse
- Bees - BEES
- Probably Not Getting Struck By Lightning - In any rain, you have a 1-in-20 chance of getting struck by lightning and dying horribly
Madness
- Depression - Disadvantage on all checks until you succeed one, resets each day
- Addiction - Whenever it is available, you must seek out (1d4): pleasure, drugs, gambling, or church attendance. If you resist an obvious opportunity to get your fix, you can't heal until you get some
- Alien Hand Syndrome - One arm no longer belongs to you. It'll act on its own choices, and will resent you for placing it in danger
- Paranoia - They are all out to get you! Disadvantage on CHA checks, alleviated for a day if you actually find evidence of a conspiracy against you and have proof
- Hallucinations - Unreliable senses, the DM will give you false descriptions of things if you are ever alone (without your allies to guide you). Since you are always doubting your senses, you are always surprised on the first round of combat unless a CHA check is made
- The Voices - You can hear everything the other players say at the table
- Nightmares - 3-in-6 chance of restful sleep each night, 4-in-6 with alcohol. Missing out on sleep at night reduces healing to 1d6
- Phobia (Proximal) - Permanently afraid of whatever thing or class of things caused the madness. When confronted with trigger, make a CHA check or take double damage until you spend a round while safe from the cause
- Phobia (Dungeon) - Permanently afraid of 1d4: being alone, claustrophobia, darkness, or heights. When confronted with trigger, make a CHA check or take double damage until you spend a round while safe from the cause
- Selective Blindness - Cannot see cause of madness, or some other source of danger (d4): 1. Enemies, 2. Traps, 3. Betrayals, 4. Magic
- Psychosis - Cannot leave combat until all enemies are dead. A CHA check can be attempted once per combat the first time you attempt to resist
- Split Personality - Reroll all your background elements and mental stats as a second character. Switch between them each session or when concussed
- Twitchy - The first time you take damage in each encounter, you must make a CHA check or spend the next round flipping out
- Pacifism - Whenever you see or hear an enemy die, take 1d6 damage
- Afflicted - Abusive, paranoid, irrational, hopeless or something else. Whatever the case, anyone that rests with you nearby recovers 1 fewer HP
- Sudden Delusion - 1d6: 1. Your allies are insane and must be restrained, 2. This is a dream and you have to wake up, 3. The floor is covered with gold and jewels, 4. You are on fire, 5. You are a literal god, 6. You are a rusty sword that needs polishing
- Obsession - If you can't do it, freak out in d4 rounds (d4): 1. When entering a structure you haven't tasted before, lick the floor, 2. Always stay in the light, 3. Don't touch anybody, 4. Touch all of the treasure
- Shut Down - Can't take actions unless expressly ordered to by an ally (requires an action and a lot of prodding). Lasts for 1d6 hours
- Amnesia - Lose all of your trained abilities and memories. Make an CHA check to recover them when you need them, or when prompted. If you failed, you'll need therapy to get them back, or a life-or-death situation that requires them. You won't lose any spells but you'll forget you have them
- Coma - Make saves to recover after 1d6 hours, 1d6 days and 1d6 weeks
- Insomnia - You can't sleep
- Narcolepsy - 1-in-10 chance of falling asleep under stressful circumstances
- Lycanthropy - Turn into a wolf by the light of the moon
Disease
- Grave Lung - Cough at least once a minute or take d4 damage
- Spasms of the Liver - Halve all natural healing
- Stoneskin - Each time the affected limb is damaged, it spreads a little
- Corpus Beetles - Infects a specific mental trait, using it causes eggs to appear
- Black Death - Double the effect of all other diseases and poisons
- Gob Rot - Your teeth start falling out
- Mangling Flesh - Fail all saves vs. mutation
- Dungeon Slough - Take +d4 damage from all sources
- Worm of Entropy - Speaks your language, desires ruin
- Shadow Pox - Immune to positive spells as your shadow sickens
- Dysentery - 1-in-6 chance to lose action each round as you soil yourself
- Crystal Bones - Double bludgeoning and fall damage
- Rude Passenger - Save vs. messy sporulation when near people
- The Dwindling - Shrink an inch a day
- Ogre Guts - No benefit from first meal each day
- Gangrene - Take 1d8 damage each morning
- Rabies - Cannot drink water
- Plague - If you die you will rise as a zombie
- Brain Worms - Hallucinate when near large predators or water
- Tetanus - Random body part is paralysed each morning (d6): 1. Left arm, 2. Right arm, 3. Left leg, 4. Right leg, 5. Jaw, 6. Whole body
- Dauntledregs - Fail all saves vs. fear and confusion
- Wandering Heart - You have a throbbing red weak point, take +d8 damage from all attacks that specifically target it
- Dimensia - Regular geometric shapes horrify you
- The Hops - Frog eggs sprout from your back
- Doom Warts - They pop into tiny faces and pronounce doom
- Cordyceps - Bright glowing lump, get excited near predators
- The Dithers - CHA check to make fast decisions
- Boggy Pox - Each sentence must include the word "bog", "boggy" etc. or take 1 damage. Each time you take damage, the number of "bogs" needed in a sentence increases by one. After five, every word must be "bog"
- Carrion Fever - Cannot gain sustenance from anything but raw meat
- Goblin Breath - It smells terrible, and if your face is uncovered, goblins can find you
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