The Final Thesis of Exosilk McBazhferd Containing: Sit Lament
A final thesis which is just a single spell and that spell is called "Sit Lament" as if its only power is to make a sitting target sad or cause a person to regret having sat down.
Part of the Folio of Blimnabb von Tzimhard Containing: Shadow Disease Navel Rage Punch Panther Green Ennui Crime Badger
"Navel Rage" Cause the target to become incredibly angry with themselves. They must save or begin beating themselves up.
"Shadow Disease" I mean what couldn't this be? A disease that infects shadows? A disease that causes your shadow to turn on you? The possibilities are endless!
"Punch Panther" Either very specifically hurts panthers or summons a panther with boxing gloves.
"Green Ennui" A hold person that makes the target listless and green.
"Crime Badger" holy moly. Summons the world's greatest detective: the Crime Badger, a badger with a magnifying glass and a Sherlock Holmes hat. He is the best detective and a fierce ally in combat.
The Famous Manifesto of Yarshoot Beggarsquisp Containing: -Open Walk -Dimension Degenerate -Bull Bronze -Grow Gill -Anti Pass
Yarshoot's Manifesto advocated what he called a "return to the Sea." Natural Historians have long determined that humans were derived from sea creatures through a series of minor magical transmutations they call "evolution." Yarshoot advocated that leaving the Sea was " the Greatest Mistake," and started a movement to return humans to sea-adapted form. As he was a potent transmuter, his Manifesto contained several spells which were designed to aid his followers in their task.
-"Open Walk" was a simple transmutation that allowed his water-breathing followers to tread land to perform their work among the air-breathing populace. -Similarly, "Dimension Degenerate" allowed his followers to reduce objects (such as defensive weaponry, or lockpicks) to the form of a two-dimensional image they could then adhere to their skins. Appearing to be a tattoo, the object could later be removed at which point it would return to three-dimensionality. -"Bull Bronze" was a potent defensive magic which could turn a steed into living bronze, making it much more formidable and imbuing it with confidence and bravery. As non-knights, Yarshoot's followers were forbidden to ride horses in his home country, but the bulls that were common riding animals there would become useful defensive minions through this magic. -"Grow Gill" was the signature spell of the Manifesto, allowing creatures that could breathe only air to "return to the Mother Medium from which [their] Life arose." While many used it voluntarily, it was said a variant could be used against the unwilling to cause them great distress when they were caught far from water. -Finally, the movement's safe houses were warded with the "Anti Pass" spell, which prevented most magic (such as "Pass Wall" and the like) from penetrating them.
Yarshoot's movement rapidly gained a number of converts -- according to detractors, many of them unwilling. It is unknown how large the movement would have gotten. In the year 2149 GR, Yarshoot held his greatest and largest rally in the city of Desert Wind, when an anti-magic storm occurred and put an end to the movement and its most potent followers. Anti-aquatic movements that sprung up in its wake led to book-burnings and pograms among the masses. While anti-aquatism no longer holds the cachet it once did, the Manifesto is still a rarity in the modern era and commands high prices at book auctions.
There will be a reward for the best/worst you find. Happy hunting!
ReplyDeleteThe Final Thesis of Exosilk McBazhferd
ReplyDeleteContaining:
Sit Lament
A final thesis which is just a single spell and that spell is called "Sit Lament" as if its only power is to make a sitting target sad or cause a person to regret having sat down.
This has got to be the worst one.
McBazhferd evidently discovered this spell while trying to finish his thesis, and submitted it in place of the study on duck psychology. Sadness.
DeleteAnd this has got to be the best!
ReplyDeletePart of the Folio of Blimnabb von Tzimhard
Containing:
Shadow Disease
Navel Rage
Punch Panther
Green Ennui
Crime Badger
"Navel Rage" Cause the target to become incredibly angry with themselves. They must save or begin beating themselves up.
"Shadow Disease" I mean what couldn't this be? A disease that infects shadows? A disease that causes your shadow to turn on you? The possibilities are endless!
"Punch Panther" Either very specifically hurts panthers or summons a panther with boxing gloves.
"Green Ennui" A hold person that makes the target listless and green.
"Crime Badger" holy moly. Summons the world's greatest detective: the Crime Badger, a badger with a magnifying glass and a Sherlock Holmes hat. He is the best detective and a fierce ally in combat.
Funny/good:
ReplyDeleteThe Failed Tome of Fanyzsand von Haleelmsley
- Sheep Trap
- Scry Savage
- Zombie Invisible
- Charisma Bow
Thought-provoking/bad:
The Infamous Manual of Ingtondiab val Neverwump
- Decipher Hate
That last one could definitely be useful for diplomatic operations!
DeleteI got this:
ReplyDeleteThe Famous Manifesto of Yarshoot Beggarsquisp
Containing:
-Open Walk
-Dimension Degenerate
-Bull Bronze
-Grow Gill
-Anti Pass
Yarshoot's Manifesto advocated what he called a "return to the Sea." Natural Historians have long determined that humans were derived from sea creatures through a series of minor magical transmutations they call "evolution." Yarshoot advocated that leaving the Sea was " the Greatest Mistake," and started a movement to return humans to sea-adapted form. As he was a potent transmuter, his Manifesto contained several spells which were designed to aid his followers in their task.
-"Open Walk" was a simple transmutation that allowed his water-breathing followers to tread land to perform their work among the air-breathing populace.
-Similarly, "Dimension Degenerate" allowed his followers to reduce objects (such as defensive weaponry, or lockpicks) to the form of a two-dimensional image they could then adhere to their skins. Appearing to be a tattoo, the object could later be removed at which point it would return to three-dimensionality.
-"Bull Bronze" was a potent defensive magic which could turn a steed into living bronze, making it much more formidable and imbuing it with confidence and bravery. As non-knights, Yarshoot's followers were forbidden to ride horses in his home country, but the bulls that were common riding animals there would become useful defensive minions through this magic.
-"Grow Gill" was the signature spell of the Manifesto, allowing creatures that could breathe only air to "return to the Mother Medium from which [their] Life arose." While many used it voluntarily, it was said a variant could be used against the unwilling to cause them great distress when they were caught far from water.
-Finally, the movement's safe houses were warded with the "Anti Pass" spell, which prevented most magic (such as "Pass Wall" and the like) from penetrating them.
Yarshoot's movement rapidly gained a number of converts -- according to detractors, many of them unwilling. It is unknown how large the movement would have gotten. In the year 2149 GR, Yarshoot held his greatest and largest rally in the city of Desert Wind, when an anti-magic storm occurred and put an end to the movement and its most potent followers. Anti-aquatic movements that sprung up in its wake led to book-burnings and pograms among the masses. While anti-aquatism no longer holds the cachet it once did, the Manifesto is still a rarity in the modern era and commands high prices at book auctions.
"In the beginning, man decided to grow lungs and leave the ocean. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
DeleteWhat an excellent piece of literature this is!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ReplyDelete"The Lost Book of Hexsnicker ix Chookmeat
Containing:
Bamboo Beam
Stare White"
just.... wow
Hey now! Chookmeat worked hard on that Bamboo Beam spell! :D
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ReplyDelete